Comments on: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Holy Crap, Being Sick is AWESOME

By: caffeineadddict

caffeineadddict — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 10:59:35 +0000

Oh I’m in no way implying that men don’t fear being raped, or are not raped, or don’t hide the fact that they fear rape. What I’m drawing attention to is the way women are taught to fear rape in a way that a lot of men aren’t- e.g. the warnings women get ( sometimes from mums/dads/friends) before they go out, the way guys yell from car windows at women when they are out at night ( e.g.’you slut’, ‘you cunt’, ‘wanna fuck?’-from my experience), the way women are told to watch their drinks/be careful when they are out etc. I think the heternormative male fear of rape is interwoven with homophobic and misogynistic politics, in a way which makes it slightly different from the ‘dominant’ female fear of rape. Our culture teaches women that male rapists are omnipotent-everywhere- and therefore it is their responsibility to protect themselves. I am not saying that men are not taught this, but rather that more emphasis is placed on ingraining it in women. There is a difference in the rape education/ acculturation process for men, women and trans peeps. Having said that, people’s embodied experiences are different, and I get that there will always be exceptions to this- e.g. a guy may have been raped in the past/heard of a friends’ rape story/ taught to fear rape in a similar way in which women are taught to fear rape, resulting in a heightened fear of being raped. However, I do not think we have progressed so far that one can say that men’s, women’s and trans peoples fear of rape is equal. I still feel that this fear is experienced disproportionately by women and trans people.

By: Sady

Sady — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 00:35:10 +0000

@CA: Well, I think men fear being raped, too, although given our cultural conceptions of rape it’s often treated jokily, rather than being thought of as a serious and possible occurence in their lives. Also, I think that even if men don’t fear being raped THEMSELVES, or have less-than-fully-evolved concepts of consent (which is common for a lot of people, and not just men) the idea of rape as they conceive of it is Very Bad and Very Scary to them. We wouldn’t have rape-revenge stories written by and for men if that weren’t the case. And, finally, note that at least one, and possibly both of the Savage rape metaphors ARE summoning up the rape of a male person: gays and/or human rights “want to rape your son.”

By: snobographer

snobographer — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:34:19 +0000

I think MRAs and other professional rape apologists police the ‘net for articles like yours just so they can regurgitate the same points again and again.
Also, what William said.

By: Thessa Mercury

Thessa Mercury — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 04:52:37 +0000

God, people are morons. I thought it was a good article.

By: billie rain

billie rain — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:15:26 +0000

hi sady

i’m with the other commenters here: the responses to your article on the guardian site are, for the most part, awful! i think it’s an indication of how lightly sexual assault is taken that not only are these folks using the fear of rape to scare folks away from whatever they don’t agree with, but that guardian readers are then defending their right to do so!

that metaphor is used inappropriately way too often, by conservatives and by folks in general. i published an article in a zine about 15 years ago critiquing folks in the leftist punk scene for misuse of rape as a metaphor.

i have also stopped watching law & order: svu because, in addition to unquestioningly supporting the prison industrial complex, they routinely have their characters threaten perpetrators with the threat of being raped in prison. also, they make offhanded comments like “we all know recovered memories are BS.”

the problem of rape and sexual abuse are deeper and more widespread than most people want to admit. i commend you for speaking out about it.

xo billie

By: kristyn

kristyn — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:55:12 +0000

CaffeineAddict, are you saying that man-people, and though I may be reading this wrong, perhaps people such as yourself, do not have this thing called empathy?

Wait, pick me, pick me, I know the answer to my own question. Silly me, empathy is a LADYPEOPLE thing.

It just surprises the holy-shit out of me whenever people commit that thought to print.

By: Jeeps

Jeeps — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:56:20 +0000

The comments certainly are a cesspool, aren’t they.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:46:59 +0000

you rock lady!

By: caffeineadddict

caffeineadddict — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:35:50 +0000

Oh I read the comments too! Gawd!
I felt that there was a gap in your article, particularly regarding the gendered specificity of one’s fear of being raped. You talked about how using the term rape metaphorically mobilises irrational fear against opposing opinions, gays, the loss of childhood ‘innocence’ etc. But I felt kinda weird when you didn’t recognise that a fear of rape won’t necessarily be experienced by all of your readers in the same way, given that it tends to be women and trans people who are disproportionately affected by rape. I kinda felt as though you were addressing a de-gendered audience. Yes, using the term ‘rape’ can increase one’s fear of a lot of things,but FOR WHOM is this fear heightened? I’m not saying there are identifiable groups, but implying that everyone will experience the fear in the same way makes me feel weird.

By: Margaret

Margaret — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 05:59:59 +0000

This piece really reminds me of arguments that I came across in my African American History class that talked about how the presence of slavery in America really framed the rhetoric coming out of the South about their conflict with King George. They constantly spoke of themselves as being enslaved by him, or transformed into chattel, and beyond just being hypocritical, some historians argued that it revealed their awareness of and attachment to their privileged status. Because they were surrounded by people whose rights they’d decimated, the idea of having THEIR rights decimated or curtailed in any way was even more terrifying.

It seems like a similar dynamic is going on here. Since protecting rich, white, male privilege is the shibboleth of the far right, there’s no more visceral way they can present the loss of their status than by likening themselves to the people they strive so hard to keep down– women, gay men, and inmates.