Comments on: The Continuance of Sexism In Our Enlightened Post-Feminist Era: Snow Storm Edition

By: CSeraph

CSeraph — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:09:37 +0000

As a note, in some cultures it is considered disrespectful for a strange male to address a female accompanied by another male directly.

I’m not saying it isn’t sexist – it very much is – but it can be pretty powerfully ingrained in people from some backgrounds, such that not doing so would seem offensive to them.

By: Leah B

Leah B — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 06:57:02 +0000

I always just thank all people I’m serving. It’s not as though the person paying is the only person making your store money.

In other words, I’m not thanking people for paying, I’m thanking them for coming. Anything less is poor customer service.

By: Kiore

Kiore — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 22:58:30 +0000

I think a lot of it is automatic rather than maliciously intended, and that’s why you get the people defending it – because the person genuinely didn’t /intend/ to be sexist.

The problem is, it’s still harmful even if it’s not intended; I’d argue moreso, because it gets seen as okay whereas overt sexism is more often acknowledged as such.

That’s a hard one to combat though.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 18:35:16 +0000

When I worked as a cashier this summer, I made a POINT to always specifically thank the person who paid (or gave a tip), adding in a “sir” or “ma’am” so they would definitely know whom I was addressing. So if a lady paid, I said “thank you, ma’am,” even if she was with a man. And vice versa if a man paid.

Perhaps this action isn’t as EARTH-SHATTERING as it would be if I were a male, and perhaps it’s not all that EARTH-SHATTERING in general, but still. I do what I can.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 23:27:06 +0000

Merry Christmas Sady! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for the past 8 months, and I hope to keep reading it for a while! You offer funny and important persepectives on some stuff that I am still trying to understand. You’ve talked about your family being nontraditional, and mine is too. I hope that your holidays are still great and that you spend them with people you love. Tonight my sister and I are going to watch “Ginger Snaps” together and I thought of you. I don’t usually comment, but this time of year is a time to reach out to people. So, you know, good luck. May all your wishes be seen to fulfillment in the coming years, and may your words find their way into the hearts and lives of many more.

By: snobographer

snobographer — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:39:18 +0000

Oh I’ve got another one. You do something at work and a higher-up assumes a male peer of yours did it and declares that this male peer should be commended. You explain that actually it was you who performed the commendable action and the higher-up just sort of rolls his eyes at you and either changes the subject or continues in his praise of your male peer. Gotten that sort of thing a few times.

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 17:21:40 +0000

My favorite version is when a dude tells a joke/anecdote/idea I already told, and takes credit for it! And then I have to be the joy-killer and shrill and say “Yeah, I’m the one who told you that.” Because he does not even REMEMBER me saying it, because I am apparently his invisible muse or something. And then people look uncomfortable, because how dare I own my ideas when a man wants them? Sheesh!

By: Jenny

Jenny — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:00:32 +0000

I’ve never had this happen in a taxi, but I rarely take taxis. However, just yesterday, myself and a friend of mine (who happens to be male) grabbed dinner at a pub, and when paying time came, I agreed to pick up the tab. The waitress was standing right there when we were discussing this, and she saw me place my debit card on the table before going to serve one of the other tables. Upon returning, she asked Dan to come up to the front with her to pay. He looked confused, and when I answered her, she looked confused. It was rather annoying. Even Dan noticed how weird this was, and he’s not normally very aware of this sort of thing.

By: Shevek

Shevek — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:27:58 +0000

Your landlord shoveled your walk. I have two inches of ice on mine!

By: Anna

Anna — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 02:57:01 +0000

‘Ever personally, with your own personal hand, give cash payment to – say – a taxi driver and have that taxi driver turn to your dudely companion and say “thank you, sir?” Yeah me too. And I did give him what for, to which my dudely companion told me to pipe down and not take things so personally.’

OH GOD YES. And waiters. And when they give you the wine to taste it’s always if he found it okay, not you, and they always ask the man about the menus and foood and arrrrrrrrg.