Comments on: On Heavy Girls and Sexy Time

By: AmazonaWomona

AmazonaWomona — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 18:38:13 +0000

Can we be friends? I think we need to have a fat chick get together……And talk about sex and feminism and fat chicks and how they rule!

By: aly

aly — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 21:25:15 +0000

The survey that they are talking about I took when I was in high school…I didn’t pay attention to anything I was filling it. Also what I now see as me being underweight in middle school and high school, I felt as if I was over weight when I was that age. And since it’s a self survey it’s all about how those girls felt about themselves. Meaning a girl like me at fifteen could been around 100 pounds at 5’1” and still feel overweight and be marking themselves as overweight.
Also when I look to as to why I started having sex so young (barely 15) and now have “so many” partners (around 30 and I’m now 22), my weight issues have never occurred to me. Being sexually assaulted as a child, and the fact that sex is freaking awesome and great stress relief are the reasons I started young and have done it so much.

I feel the same way I do when I read “studies” about teen drug usage–TEENS LIE and have no idea what they are talking about. They have a huge sample size but that doesn’t mean anything to me because no one is regulating or interviewing the people taking the survey.

I think the most important thing to take from this survey is that kids are having sex way too young and aren’t using protection. We need better sex ed in our schools and we need parents having an active dialog with their kids at younger ages in order to prevent that.

By: Nika

Nika — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 00:18:15 +0000

THANK YOU!
The part that pisses me off most is that their solution is to put fatty on a diet, rather than sex ed.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 18:05:16 +0000

As a “skinny girl,” I’ve always believed in that study’s analysis of sex and weight. I’ve never thought to consider it from your point of view, but now that I see it, I think I really do understand. We need more people like you so we can stop this from happening to anyone else. Thank you so much for posting this, and really exposing the hypocrisy and negativity that girls and women face every day.

By: usedtobeavegetarian

usedtobeavegetarian — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 15:47:15 +0000

If fat adolescent girls, even young fat adolescent girls, feel sexy and empowered and want to explore that, God love ‘em, I couldn’t be more delighted! However, although I don’t want to reinstate the fat=sad assumption, I think it is true, as some have already pointed out, that in ignoring female desire the study also does the opposite: blurs the line between consensual (or just pressured) sexual activity and what may in fact be sexual abuse.

It is not at all unusual for young girls to be sexually abused. It is not at all unusual for young girls who have been sexually abused to develop disordered eating. It is finally not unusual for young girls with disordered eating to become fat. That was certainly the case for me, and for plenty of other women sexual abuse survivors that I know.

Many young girls who have been sexually abused never have the experience of having an adolescent virginity to actively decide to “protect” or “lose”. They may not experience much sexual decision-making or control in their adolescence at all. It’s also not a stretch to imagine that some of these girls may be reporting their incest or abuse and not just casual teen exploration. Sexual abuse survivors often assume some kind of emotional responsibility for their abuser’s actions or feel that they must have wanted it or else they would have been able to prevent it.

I truly don’t want to imply that all fat girls have eating disorders, or that all fat girls have been victimized. I don’t believe those things, but I do believe that many girls reach adolescent already feeling sexually damaged, and that that impacts their future decisions and behaviors.

By: P.R.

P.R. — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 07:01:48 +0000

As someone who had sex for the first time at age 15 and years later has no regrets and thinks that was a perfectly healthy time for me to become sexually active, I take great offense to some of the commenters who seem to think it is their business to say when it is “okay” for someone to be having sex. I knew it was the right time at 15. I know women who knew that at 13 and 14. We were all safe and well-educated about sex. We do not regret our decisions. We should be supported in our choices. Supporting women in making healthy, pleasurable choices = feminism.

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 19:43:28 +0000

@Elysia (10) There is the body fat/estrogen correlation, as well as recent studies that suggest that puberty is partly triggered by weight in girls… I don’t know how scientific it is, but I know that I was very scrawny as a child and both had issues resulting from low estrogen and went through puberty very, very late (ie, when I graduated college I still had acne and barely had enough money to buy bras as fast as I was “outgrowing” them).

By: Links of Great Interest: 6/4/10 | The Hathor Legacy

Links of Great Interest: 6/4/10 | The Hathor Legacy — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 07:41:07 +0000

[...] Let’s flip out about teen girls and sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That study? Made of fail. [...]

By: EGhead

EGhead — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 23:38:45 +0000

I was loving this (“calling Caitlin Flannigan” HA!) until we got to the part where poor= miserable. I couldn’t get past how completely wrong that was.

By: Emily

Emily — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 16:26:27 +0000

Silvana, I’ll back you up on questioning “sex should be when you’re X years old and only in Y kind of relationship!” Not that me having your back is useful, but anyway.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to say a) Don’t do anything you don’t want to do and b) Be safe and responsible, whatever you choose to do.

I don’t think there needs to be anything more than that to it. No X age, no Y relationship. Fill in those blanks yourself.