Thursday, December 11, 2008
… Ugh. That’ll learn me not to Make Statements while I’m drunk. Seriously: the “calling in gay and/or Bjork” thing? I had meant to post something in support of it, and I also thought it was funny that when I told someone I missed work he said, “oh, you called in gay!” And then I […]
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Hola, amigos. It has, as they say, been a while since I rapped at you. Let me attempt to explain the delay. As you may know, I: Quit smoking, after which I Hated everything, then got really Sad about everything, and then Cried a lot, then contracted The flu. I also: Lost my wallet. This […]
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Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So, I looked up “smoking withdrawal” symptoms (no patch today, check me out) and then I got this: Feelings of being an infant: temper tantrums, intense needs, feelings of dependency, a state of near paralysis. No, really. Also, crazy dreams! Like: one of my favorite writers opened a bookstore, and it had a special section […]
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Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Blah blah blah Tina Fey blah blah Vanity Fair blah Maureen Dowd blah blah blah sucks blah scar blah blah weight blah blah “showing tit” blah blah blah. Anyway! Yes, Maureen Dowd has some fucked-up business that she needs to attend to, seeing as how she’s swallowed the whole “being a powerful woman is about […]
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Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Women! They sure do like it when you buy them things. Am I right, fellas? Unfortunately, this holiday season, you may find yourself sleeping with one of them – or maybe even married to one! As a male, you are of course totally incapable of buying someone a thoughtful gift which is tailored to her […]
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To town! And, by “town,” I mean “your vagina!” Witness: Now, here’s the beauty portion: this is an ad for emergency contraception. That’s right: Santa has a special present for you this year, and it is a bastard child. He wants to squirt his magical sparkling pine-tree scented spunk into your womb (it tastes just […]
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SO MUCH SNOW HERE! I’M DRUNK CAUSE MY MOM WON’T QUIT CALLING ME A WHORE. – Text message received at 6:45 p.m., 11/27/08 I think I texted her back about the box of wine I had hidden under my bed.
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
While everyone suggests that you take up lollipops, hard candies, or breath mints, try and fail to get this song out of your head: Also: is it just you, or does France Gall’s sucker get bigger every time they cut back to it? Probably it is you.
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
Consider how this PJ Harvey song stands in response to this poem by D.H. Lawrence. Look, here’s a YouTube clip so that you can listen to it from this page: (I tried to find a live performance, but no luck. There is a clip of a woman singing it to her baby! EMBARRASSING.) Anyway, here’s […]
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I think “The Hills” actually comes from this weird confusing right wing place where sex is considered degrading to women, because women are giant babies (e.g. Sarah Palin). On one hand, it’s a way to keep the show apolitical and generally appealing (how could Lauren Conrad have a stance on abortion rights when she’s probably […]
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