Tiger Beatdown

OMG my BFF Aaron P. Taylor!

You know: Aaron P. Taylor, who did not rape you (although he totally could have, and he thinks you deserved it), is a very sensitive guy. Aaron P. Taylor is an artist who did not rape you; an iconoclast who did not rape you; a thinker of thoughts about raping you (OR NOT), which he selflessly shares with the world. So imagine how hurt Aaron P. Taylor was when his silly little blog post about “How Not To Get a ‘Deserved’ Raping” got folks all in a huff! I mean, all of these mean Internet people – Jezebel, Shakesville, the Washington City Paper – kept linking to Aaron P. Taylor, and saying mean things about Aaron P. Taylor, and even (gasp!) commenting on Aaron P. Taylor’s blog.

Look, Aaron P. Taylor is going to say this ONE TIME, so you all better listen up:

It’s stupid for any woman to believe that she can go through life teasing guy after guy after guy after guy, and not think that at least ONE of them might take what she thinks is a “joking” lil’ tease routine too seriously, to the point where he thinks she’s still “joking” when she says she really doesn’t want sex. If you’re constantly putting yourself in positions or situations where there’s a possibility of something like that happening, it’s only a matter of time before it might eventually happen.

See? Aaron P. Taylor thinks that women who get raped are stupid and bring it upon themselves! Why are people so upset about that? Aaron P. Taylor can’t imagine!

Anyway, it’s really rough on Aaron P. Taylor when you blog about him. So stop it, OK? Especially you two:

I wasn’t going to even do a rebuttal to this post… but then I found out that other blog sites have been re-posting this article and saying negative things about me personally. (To read some of these sites, you can click http://news.mensactivism.org/node/10802, or http://tigerbeatdown.blogspot.com/2008/10/andrew-p-taylor-did-not-rape-you-he.html [this one is pretty sarcastic, but kinda funny].)

Wha… wait a second. Did Aaron P. Taylor just say that I’m funny? Oh, my god, you guys, does this mean that we are destined to be friends… or possibly more? I can imagine running with Aaron P. Taylor through a field of daisies, holding his hand, sharing a cone of ice cream with him… I’d run my fingers through Aaron P. Taylor’s pencil-thin douche beard and gaze tenderly into Aaron P. Taylor’s non-lazy eye… and all the while, Aaron P. Taylor would be not raping me, unless I accidentally turned him on, in which case he’d pretty much have to… Aaron P. Taylor: imagine me and you! And you, and me! No matter how you toss the dice, it’s meant to be!

IIIIII CAN’T SEE ME [BEING VIOLENTLY RAPED BY] NOBODY BUT [AARON P. TAYLOR] FOR ALL MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!

Ha ha ha, oh, we have fun, don’t we? But wait: did I just made a joke about sex with Aaron P. Taylor? Because we all know that “joking” about sex with Aaron P. Taylor means that Aaron P. Taylor will later think you are “joking” when you decline to actually have sex with Aaron P. Taylor. So that means…

OH MY GOD HE’S COMING RUN RUN LOCK ALL THE DOORS AAAAAAAHHHHHH.

This was written by Sady. Posted on Friday, October 31, 2008, at 9:52 am. Filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow comments here with the RSS feed. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.

OMG my BFF Aaron P. Taylor!

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