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God to Abortioners: You Started It!

Welcome back to Abortion Week at Tiger Beatdown! It is kind of like Shark Week, except I didn’t plan it at all, and instead of sharks it has me, reveling in the slaughter of the unborn. So: more exciting than Shark Week, I would think!

Today, our Abortion Week programming centers on God. God is totally pissed about all your abortioning, dudes and ladies. It’s killing babies, doncha know, and God doesn’t like that. He likes it so little, in fact, that he is going to totally kill some babies, just for fun! Anyway, so saith the Lord’s True Prophet Gingi “Some Crazy Lady” Edmonds, as revealed through His True Disciple Jill “Also Some Crazy Lady, But With a Blog” Stanek. Behold, sinners!

Some of you may have seen the major news story of the private plane that crashed into a Montana cemetery, killing 7 children and 7 adults.

But what the news sources fail to mention is… the [cemetery] contains… the Tomb of the Unborn… erected as a dedication to all babies who have died because of abortion.

What else is the mainstream news not telling you? The family who died in the crash near the location of the abortion victim’s memorial, is the family of IrvingBudFeldkamp, owner of the largest for-profit abortion chain in the nation….

Ruh-roh. Looks like God has decided to weigh in on policy matters by killing some dude’s entire family again! God: Like the Mafia, but in Space.*

O Gingi! Blessed art thou among crazies! I beseech thee, mayst we hear thee gloat in an exceeding creepy manner over the deaths of these various children, and young adults, and also a pilot, who probably had nothing specifically to do with abortion in their (extremely brief, in many cases) lives? Ope thy lips, and pour unto my heart the balm of your lovingly rendered gory details!

In my time working for Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust, I helped organize and conduct a weekly campaign where youth activists stood outside of Feldkamp’s mini-mansion in Redlands holding fetal development signs and raising community awareness regarding Feldkamp’s dealings in child murder for profit. Every Thursday afternoon we called upon Bud and his wife Pam to repent, seek God’s blessing and separate themselves from the practice of child killing.

We warned him, for his children’s sake, to wash his hands of the innocent blood he assisted in spilling because, as Scripture warns, if “you did not hate bloodshed, bloodshed will pursue you.” (Ezekiel 35:6)

A news source states that Bud Feldkamp visited the site of the crash with his wife and their 2 surviving children on Monday. As they stood near the twisted and charred debris talking with investigators, light snow fell on the tarps that covered the remains of their children.

See? Gingi warned him that God was gonna FUCK HIM UP. Except… God didn’t, and chose to kill some other people instead? Whatevs. God doesn’t need to be bothered with these petty little details. There are charred baby remains on the ground, that’s all God needs to know.

I don’t want to turn this tragic event into some creepy spiritual “I told you so” moment, but I think of the time spent outside of Feldkamp’s – Pam Feldkamp laughing at the fetal development signs, Bud Feldkamp trying not to make eye contact as he got into his car with a small child in tow – and I think of the haunting words, “Think of your children.” I wonder if those words were haunting Feldkamp as well as he stood in the snow among the remains of loved ones, just feet from the Tomb of the Unborn?

Yes, Gingi: faced with unspeakable personal devastation, which no-one could predict and which must be more painful than anyone can imagine, I’m sure that the first thing Mr. Feldkamp thought of, standing in a cemetery near the bodies of people he had never imagined he would outlive, people he thought he would never have to grieve, was YOUR CRAZY ASS.

Lo, what saith the Holy Jill Spivak? Not much, but she hath chimed in helpfully:

Feldkamp’s family has gone through tragedy before. Two years ago, his 10-month-old grandson, Chase, died after he was found to have slipped between a mattress and the edge of a bed during a nap. The child was taken to a hospital and was eventually taken off life support.

Now, all of these things are undeniably connected, because God is hateful and sadistic and wants you to undergo unimaginable pain for not doing exactly what Gingi Edmonds tells you. That much, I don’t dispute! However, I do have one question: if we’re defining fetuses as children, and God is killing actual children, several years after most abortions take place, isn’t God, you know, performing late-term abortions?

Quick! To the Bible-Editing Software:

For God so loved the world that He aborted His only begotten Son in His 132nd trimester…

*Several theological experts have weighed in to tell me that God is not actually in space. To them, I say: phooey! He’s either there or in some sort of top-secret undersea dome. We’ve already ruled out the North Pole; Santa lives there, so it would be crowded.



  1. Lauren O wrote:

    I don’t want to turn this tragic event into some creepy spiritual “I told you so” moment

    But you did, Gingi. And it went way past “creepy” into “morally reprehensible.” But keep gloating over the deaths of children, that’ll get you into heaven REAL quick.

    Friday, March 27, 2009 at 1:38 pm | Permalink
  2. slythwolf wrote:

    I enjoyed this post, except for the gratuitous slurs against people with mental illnesses. Uncool.

    Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 7:54 am | Permalink
  3. neener wrote:

    …visiting from Shakesville…

    Well said. I haven’t laughed so hard in days! I will never understand where Christians get off announcing God’s intentions. They believe we must all submit to God’s will, but only they are qualified to tell us exactly what that is. Huh.

    Sunday, March 29, 2009 at 1:39 pm | Permalink
  4. Burning River wrote:

    I can only thank Gingi and everyone else who has commented for doing us all a favor. They’ve revealed themselves to be sick, ghoulish harpies who twist theology to their own purposes. This way, it’s easy to know who and what they are, and know better how to deal with them in the future. What horrible people!

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 6:02 am | Permalink
  5. The Sexist wrote:

    I agree with the abortion holocaust survivor lady that the mainstream media totally missed out on the Tomb of the Unknown Aborted story. The MSM loves plane crash irony! I would have covered the shit out of this.

    Monday, March 30, 2009 at 10:12 am | Permalink
  6. Titanis wrote:

    If God has such a problem with abortions, maybe he should stop making a sizable chunk of pregnancies abort themselves…

    Friday, April 3, 2009 at 4:41 pm | Permalink