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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: My Knowledge of Genesis is Limited, But I Am An Expert on LOVE

Hey! Want to hear something crazy? I got to to a guest post on Shakesville, WOO. Do you want to hear something that is EQUALLY CRAZY? I am now a love advice counselor, who gives love advice, which is based on the timeless and always applicable lessons of Cinema! I assume this is going to go well, given that I know everything and whatnot. Behold, the opening paragraphs of my post!
You know, friends, being allowed to do a guest post at Shakesville is an honor. An honor of which I, specifically, plan to prove myself unworthy! How will I do this, you ask? Why, by revealing my new career to you! My new career is: DR. SADY, THE LOVE DOCTOR, WHO GIVES LOVE ADVICE, WITH HER Ph.D IN LOVE.

“But Sady,” you are saying. “You do not actually have a doctorate in the Love Sciences! You are completely unqualified for this position!” This, sadly, is true. I only have a Master’s! Oh, okay, that is not true either, actually. But I have watched a lot of movies.

Specifically, I have watched romantic comedies. These cinematic documents, or “texts,” have unlocked to me many of the true secrets of Love. Also, they are made “for women,” which I assume means they cannot be sexist! Truly, the major film studios of Hollywood always have the best interests of the ladies at heart, as we can learn from Sex and the City: The Motion Picture, and its forthcoming sequel, Sex and the City: Marriage Marriage Shopping Marriage Babies.

I know, I know. You are dying for love advice! Also, you want to know whether I can tell the difference between Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins (SPOILER: I cannot). But to do that, you will have to click on this link! So that is what you should do. RIGHT NOW, before it is too late for Love!

7 Comments

  1. smadin wrote:

    More links to witty, informative guest-posts you've been given the opportunity to write, for large, high-readership blogs? PATRIARCHY! Have you no shame?

    (Actually, shame is kind of a shitty thing anyway. Congratulations on the guest post, and also on being awesome!)

    Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 11:39 am | Permalink
  2. Anonymous wrote:

    Never before in the history of the written word has the exclamation point been so well over-used!

    Never!!!

    Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 12:43 pm | Permalink
  3. ChelseaWantsOut wrote:

    Perhaps next you could write a post for all us skinny white het girls on how to keep our man once we have him, like by putting out enough (and not asking for sex when our husbands aren't in the mood) because otherwise it's totally our fault if our husbands cheat on us and we have no right to complain!

    Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 12:59 pm | Permalink
  4. Anonymous wrote:

    What's a matter? No one's offering an M.A. in "gender theory?"

    Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 1:14 pm | Permalink
  5. The Magnetic Crow wrote:

    Can't tell the difference between Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins? This is the first time you've ever disappointed me, Sady.

    Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 1:14 pm | Permalink
  6. CaitieCat wrote:

    You're such a shameless self-promoter, Sady. Obviously the sheer volume of money you're receiving from your FAME as a feminist BLOGGER has squashed your soul so that you can't see how shameless and self-promoting you are, you shameless self-promoter of a hussy you.

    Or something.

    Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 4:33 pm | Permalink
  7. kateri wrote:

    I once saw a postgrad course in European languages and culture listed as a PdD in "Romance Studies". So I figure anyone who'd taken that could legitimately call themselves Doctor of Love.

    Friday, July 31, 2009 at 4:07 am | Permalink