Oh, goodness me! It is November! Look at that! And SEVERAL DAYS have elapsed whilst you stood around not reading my article on “Twilight” backlash, available in The American Prospect (publication date: October 26)!
Now, under normal circumstances, I would link you to it. Look: here is a link! BUT… and this is a very important BUT I am about to lay down on you… YOU CANNOT READ THE ENTIRE THING UNLESS YOU ARE A SUBSCRIBER!
I know! A predicament! I recommend subscribing. But what if this alone is not enough to satisfy your need to run my glorious article on “Twilight” backlash – my glorious, glossy article on “Twilight” backlash, which comes with several lovely photos in full color – through your own personal hands? Well, you could be like my mom, and print out things you read on the Internet so as to savor them with the added touch of legitimacy paper always supplies. But there is ANOTHER solution! For, you see, there are certain article-dispensing devices (“mah-gah-zeens,” I have heard people call them) in which you can find the articles themselves, printed in a limited and very attractive edition! Often published together with OTHER articles, so as to provide a comprehensive and pleasurable reading experience! Which is certainly the case for this “American Prospect” issue, and also their other issues. I myself have been reading it for days now, only occasionally pausing for two or three hours at a time to be hypnotized by the sight of my own extremely attractive name on the page. (Which is an expected problem for me, due to my monstrous narcissism; but perhaps also an unexpected and delightful problem for YOU? The name is very attractive!)
Yes! You – YOU, reader of exciting progressive media – can buy this “mah-gah-zeen!” And should! Because generally it is always awesome! And there are many more useful things you can do with it! For starters:
- You can frame it!
- You can put it in your guest room or bathroom for the pleasure of your various houseguests!
- I would recommend against putting it in your bathroom, however. For it is simply SO ABSORBING your guests might need to spend several hours within, reading the many exciting words that are on its pages!
- You can make a jaunty paper hat! (A glossy and COLORFUL paper hat, with very tasteful typography.)
- You can buy several hundred copies (a strategy I recommend HIGHLY), disassemble them, and make a creative and informative wallpaper!
- You can buy a copy for all your friends, and form a discussion group!
Yes, there are many uses for your limited edition Sady-Doyle-containing issue of “The American Prospect.” But principally, I would recommend you read it! Read it right now! DO IT. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS VERY EXCITING.