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Dear Internet:

You and me, we need a break today. I just deleted a 5,000-word blog post about the “Tina Fey Backlash” that was apparently caused by me writing a few blog posts all of which emphasized how I think Tina Fey is super funny and I love like 80% of her work. Because, who cares? There was a backlash! My name got mentioned in regard to it a few times! This is much like the time that I started the Taylor Swift Backlash like four months ahead of schedule, and got yelled at about it, in that it is essentially trivial and no-one will care about it in two weeks and my sense of it as a phenomenon is primarily informed by the fact that, in direct violation of my own Rules for Internet, I keep reading things what got my name in ‘em. I know less about the volcano that just apparently exploded Iceland than I do about everyone’s various feelings on the Tina Fey Backlash, and, my God: A country is covered in DEADLY VOLCANIC ASH, apparently, the sort of thing that KILLED THE DINOSAURS, a country has BEEN EXPLODED BY VOLCANO, and I am sitting here like, “but seriously! I like that TV show! I don’t hate that TV show at all! It makes me sad that you think I hate that TV show, because I like that TV show! TV show!” Ugh. At this point, I want to start a backlash against MYSELF.

But. This weekend, Internet! My experience of this weekend was very uneven! It was so great sometimes, when I was not on the Internet! And then, other times, when I was on the Internet, I got what has to be the 57,000th e-mail about how someone hates me because I wrote that blog post about Andrea Dworkin a year ago. Like: I don’t know what this compulsion people have is all about, this thing where they are like, “so, I’m a stranger who didn’t like something you wrote. Want to hear about it?” Uh, no. No, thank you. This was maybe the most fun e-mail I’ve ever gotten about the Andrea Dworkin thing, however, in that it made much the same points that every other e-mail along these lines has made — Real feminists don’t fight with other feminists! Real feminists fight with MEN! — but was, apparently, written by a man. I don’t know anything else about him — surprisingly, I did not click through to his blog — but the “I’m a dude” message was kind of overt. (UPDATE: Oh, okay, fuck me, I clicked through. Sample line: “Being oppressed means people impact your life who you didn’t invite into it.” Huh.) So I guess I COULD be fighting with a man, right now, if I felt like it! Thanks to this e-mail, I can accomplish “fighting with another feminist” and “fighting with a man” SIMULTANEOUSLY!

But also, I don’t want to. I don’t want to fight with other feminists or with men or with anybody, right now; I am all fighted out, for the moment. The Internet, though: It just keeps coming! Like, here is another thing I read because it had my name in it: A hate blog, written specifically for and about Amanda Marcotte. Apparently, publishing a guest post  that is linked to by Amanda Marcotte gets you written up by all the prominent Amanda Marcotte Hate Blog journals and trade publications.

I’d never heard of Tiger Beatdown, but it’s apparently a fairly significant site in the feminist blogosphere.

Oh, how nice of you to say!

The proprietor of TB is Sady Doyle, who is obsessed with her comment section.

They’ll put that one on my tombstone. Right next to “cared more about TV shows than people dying in natural disasters or of awful diseases; is dead now, so let’s all go watch TV.”

She admits to editing and deleting comments with which she disagrees, and she recently wrote three posts totaling 6,000 words on a single commenter who pissed her off. Clearly, Sady is the picture of maturity and stability.

CLEARLY.

It’s not like there aren’t real problems in the world. Here’s some real problem, for you: I was in the subway, with the dude I’m dating, and some kids started hollering racial insults at him. Teenagers. They sounded young. And my boyfriend was cool about it; he just started walking away, not making eye contact, doing what I suppose one does in this situation, but I was the asshole who froze and almost looked back. So clearly, they were trying to get attention — they were calling AT him, trying to get him to look around — and my attention was what they needed to escalate the situation. So we kept walking, though, and it was all cool, and then I heard one of them say, “push ‘em onto the tracks,” and sure enough, in about 0.5 seconds, one of the kids, a really huge one, got between me and the wall and the track — it was one of the passages that is really narrow, in Union Square, where the stairs come down — and sort of purposefully bumped me toward the tracks. I did stumble. I said “sorry,” because you say “sorry” to the guy who might also be the guy who was just talking with his friends about killing you and your boyfriend in public, because despite popular rumor I do have a tiny little fraction of common sense in my head and I know not to Start A Confrontation if it might result in you getting somebody killed, and the kid just looked down at me and said, “you BETTER be sorry.” I can’t even analyze the racial dynamics of the situation with any degree of accuracy, because the kids were also people of color, and I am a white person, and I just don’t fully understand any of this because I am so fucking privileged, because I am not the person who gets hollered at and called “Jackie Chan” by teenagers looking to feel tough, but, I mean: These kids, they probably weren’t actually murderers, right? They probably just wanted to scare us? Because I’m white and he’s not, or just because of him because how fucking self-absorbed is it to think that I had anything to do with it, or just because they wanted to scare the hell out of some people to prove that they occupied that space and could influence it, or whatever, what I know is, I got pushed toward some subway tracks this weekend. Somehow this seems way more serious than people on the Internet doing casual drive-by insultings of strangers, and somehow it seems like the same thing, and I don’t know any more, really, what it’s all about. I watched him board a train and I watched him leave town for the next six weeks and I went to a party and I thought I could drink more than I could and I fell down and I broke somebody’s glass and then I got in a cab and cried, because: This weekend, for fuck’s sake.

And, I don’t know, Internet. I love you. But I am really busy starting the Sady Doyle Backlash, right now. Does anyone have a Tumblr about it? Someone should have a Tumblr. Look: I started one already. Let me know if you want to contribute, I’ll add you on.

59 Comments

  1. Elizabeth C. wrote:

    I’m really sorry your weekend was so bad. That sucks. I hope you have a better day soon. I really like your website.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 4:54 pm | Permalink
  2. rebelleink wrote:

    I love your style.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 5:25 pm | Permalink
  3. Oriniwen wrote:

    Consolations in whatever form (I suggest Scotch) you want them, Sady.

    As much as love from one random stranger on Teh Internets might mean. I hope it helps in some small way.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 5:26 pm | Permalink
  4. Geek wrote:

    Oh Ugh. I mean I suppose I’m lucky I’m not dead because I would have stared at those kids and given them the finger most likely. I am sorry your weekend sucked.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm | Permalink
  5. Kate Crowe wrote:

    De-lurking to say that I love you (in a totally non-creepy, non-stalkery, you have the funniest writing evar!) way, and if my good thoughts could actually affect your day, you’d be having a banner one, I’ll tell you that much for nothing.

    Also, please do not STFU. Without you, the Freddie’s of the world would have no one at all caring about their boners, and that’s just too sad to contemplate. I’m almost crying as I think it.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm | Permalink
  6. Chally wrote:

    What a horrible experience. :(

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 5:51 pm | Permalink
  7. KAJ wrote:

    I’m sorry you had a bad weekend. I’m also sorry that people on the internet are jerks, because you’re my favorite thing on the internet.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 5:58 pm | Permalink
  8. Sady wrote:

    Erg, everybody, it’s OK. Most of my weekend was, as stated, great! And I would say I am probably doing better than Iceland! Or Poland, really, also. We should probably focus on those dudes and ladies, because they are in some bad situations! Also, my mom just sent me an e-mail with the subject headline “Cat Invasion!” Which, how is that not going to cheer you up, really? CAT INVASION! An invasion of kitties! So cute!

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 6:03 pm | Permalink
  9. Little Cat Lost wrote:

    Iceland is doing pretty okay, actually, so don’t feel too bad that you’re not glued to the tv on our behalf. A lot of farmland near the volcano is getting covered with ash, which is certainly less than ideal for the farmers, but the eruption is not as catastrophic (for Iceland, at least) as the foreign media make it sound. Europe’s more affected, really.

    Anyway, I hope your next weekend will be better!

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 6:06 pm | Permalink
  10. Nila wrote:

    Internet hug!

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 6:16 pm | Permalink
  11. Nikki wrote:

    Never forget; you’re Sady Fucking Doyle.

    (And things like what happened on the subway get me so fucking angry. It’s just. My God. WORLD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!)

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 6:35 pm | Permalink
  12. JfC wrote:

    Jesus, the nerve of that guy. “Sady Doyle’s personal website about her thoughts and experiences IS TERRIBLY PERSONAL AND THEREFORE STUPID”

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 7:09 pm | Permalink
  13. ASP wrote:

    Iceland is, as far as I can tell, doing much better than the rest of the Europe which is fucked up because disrupted air travel messed up a whole lot of business and companies are loosing money while a bunch of Britons are stuck all over the continent and can’t get home. The UK government has decided to deploy an aircraft carrier and two assault ships to help them get home (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/apr/19/iceland-volcano-naval-ships-rescue). I’m writing this not because I think you should feel less bad about your weekend because there are people stranded in Europe who can’t get home, but because the UK has sent an aircraft carrier and two assault ships to transport Britons home. I had to share that with someone.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 7:17 pm | Permalink
  14. Alicia wrote:

    If we’re only allowed to pay attention to big serious disasters, then all we get is the Suffering Olympics. And those are the worst of the Olympics, even worse than the Nobody’s Respecting My Boner Olympics. (Both can be held all over the internet, it seems!)

    I believe it is in fact a helpful human service to sometimes talk about personal problems, because it reminds everyone that we’re all human. And sometimes it helps because it makes my day seem better, and sometimes it helps because it’s a situation that sounds exactly like or close to one that has happened to me or someone I know. And that makes this whole life thing seem a little less lonely.

    For which: thank you.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 7:24 pm | Permalink
  15. vertigo29 wrote:

    My thoughts with you Sady… rock on!

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 7:24 pm | Permalink
  16. Chocolate Tort wrote:

    Those beatdowns are pale substitutes of the Sady Doyle Tiger Beatdown. In fact, I hate even to call them beatdowns. But I can well imagine that such superior beatdowns as TB produces requires some downtime and fun between beatdowns. Have some more fun, and we’ll be here when the beatdowns resume!

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 7:43 pm | Permalink
  17. Crito wrote:

    You could meta-critique Internet meta-critiques of your Internet meta-critiques all week. Sometimes, it’s fun. See e.g. [BONERS.] But usually, like you imply, it’s just pointless noise.

    But your strength has always been shining a light on privilege and thoughtless assumptions in Culture At Large, that last paragraph being no exception, and your writing’s so clear that sometimes it goddamn FEELS like this well-off cis white dude can empathize. Which is, you know, like, the point of non-fapping writing–to communicate how it feels to be someone else.

    So, disregard the backlash, and don’t stop telling stories.

    [BONERS.]

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 8:43 pm | Permalink
  18. I’m just floored that there is an Amanda Marcotte hate blog. Amanda Marcotte is one of the best things about the internet. As are you, dear Sady.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 9:34 pm | Permalink
  19. Chelsea wrote:

    I just found this place a few days ago, and this seems like a nice place to say that I’m pretty sure it’s going to change my life. Some dude in one of my classes today said, “Women have it so easy,” and I pretty much took him out in a badass verbal manner, very much thanks to Tiger Beatdown.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 9:41 pm | Permalink
  20. Gayle Force wrote:

    I am glad you are having a kitty invasion, and your weekend was mostly good, but JUST SO YOU KNOW, I heart you and your blog so hard. Also, I wouldn’t even HAVE a blog if you had never written about your personal problems, and I love my blog, so thanks for not STFUing, Sady Doyle, with the personal stuff.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 9:50 pm | Permalink
  21. Zoe wrote:

    I am with Le Tigre/Hot Topic on this one. Don’t you stop! Please don’t stop! We won’t stop. I *can* live if you stop, don’t want to make you feel responsible for my life, but: you enrich it in crucial ways. Also with Gayle: thanks for not STFUing, indeed.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 10:17 pm | Permalink
  22. Dora wrote:

    Aw. You can take everything anyone says and everything you yourself say and interpret it in the worst possible light and make that person (or yourself) sound like an asshole. It’s possible. Not the best hobby though.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 10:26 pm | Permalink
  23. Xenu01 wrote:

    Holy crap, Sady, seriously. WTF. The thing that scares me the most about this is what if this kid HAD pushed you onto the tracks? Where are the people who protect your safety and your boyfriend’s safety on public transit? Nowhere I can see, and that is f*ed up.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 10:40 pm | Permalink
  24. Irised wrote:

    Just want to say, if you want something to make you smile, look up something about English people’s complete inability to pronounce the name of the infamous volcano. Seriously. They keep doing little specials on the radio over here about it where DJs are like playing all these different clips of various news presenters trying to say it and horrifically failing and other news presenters just being like “so, yes, a volcano in iceland” and oh wow … it’s pretty fantastic. Kind of a nice island of sweet absurdity in the shit of life.

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 11:17 pm | Permalink
  25. susanita wrote:

    Jeez, what is wrong with people lately? Everyone is wound up so damn tight. I was at the gas station earlier in the week, and some dudebro in a size XXL gas guzzling truck was about to drive off with his gas cap dangling. So I gave him the friendly tap on my horn and pointed to this gas cap. Nice, right? Dudebro gave me a WTF look and flipped me off. I mean, seriously? Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot. Not as scary as what happened to you, but still fucking annoying.

    One thing I’ve learned in my interbunny adventures is that there is always drama. Sometimes you start it, sometimes it gets foisted on you, but there is always drama. Take some to do what you need to do to feel better – whatever that means to you.

    Don’t STFU, Sady Fucking Doyle! We need you, and I would miss your vigorous punctuation!! :-)

    Monday, April 19, 2010 at 11:40 pm | Permalink
  26. Rene wrote:

    Sady Fucking Doyle, just remember that it is YOUR BLOG and YOUR RULES.

    Also, teh internets are messed up, and the only way to deal with a troll is how you dealt with Freddie. So keep on rockin’ because your blog always makes my day.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 12:52 am | Permalink
  27. Dawn. wrote:

    I only have two things to say:

    1. Fuck the haters.
    2. Nobody puts Sady in a corner.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 2:08 am | Permalink
  28. I’m so sorry about what happened to you and your boyfriend. Also, regarding the hateblog guy: Yeah, dude, less words, you’re Hemingway, god, that’s so hot.

    I studied screenwriting. It’s all about economy of words. This isn’t because that’s inherently better. It’s because the people reading your shit DON’T LIKE TO READ. And so you want to make it easy on them. We were told this. Plus, when you use fewer words, it makes you feel… strangely powerful. Kinda macho. Look, it’s happening right now!

    Anyway, fuck that douche, and I hope your week goes better.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 2:09 am | Permalink
  29. Muffia wrote:

    Don’t feel too bad, Sady, here in Britain our planes have been grounded for four days and we’re all so bored of news feeds of closed airports that we’re streaming 30 Rock and doing our best Palin impressions. Iceland + Internet = Tina Fey after all. So you’ve got the calculations right.

    xx.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 6:02 am | Permalink
  30. CJ wrote:

    I have been reading and writing and thinking about nothing but the accursed volcano and the associated FLIGHT CHAOS OMGZ for DAYS now and I am TIRED and BORED and just wish everyone would die already so I can go home and return to my natural state of NOT CARING about rich people who think that their business trips are MORE IMPORTANT than rescuing stranded budget holiday-makers who are being ripped off TIMES FOUR (in some cases, I AM LOOKING AT YOU, Hong Kong) by evil hotel chains so I come here to read about Sady Doyle’s mostly great but a bit massively shit in places weekend that also manages to be extremely relevant to my interests and WHAT DO I FIND. Now I have to use my lunch break to start a hate blog about this EFFRONTERY because! The importance of my personal preferences being reflected in what I read on the Internet particulary when it comes to throwaway comments included for comedic effect: u r doin it rong!

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 6:32 am | Permalink
  31. Ethyl wrote:

    Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry that whole subway thing happened, it would have fucked me up all month. Hang in there, everyone needs a break sometimes. It can be a terribly radical and feminist act to take care of yoruself without feeling guilty.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 8:39 am | Permalink
  32. Samantha b. wrote:

    I guess, per hate blogger logic, those of use that are DSM-IV certified as unstable, we’re all supposed to jump off a tall and blighted bridge? Being drawer full of meds crazy is nevertheless more appealing to me than the kind of garden variety nuttiness that compels one to ritually ruminate on seething hatred for feminist bloggers. I took Freddie to be more of a Platonic ideal than a lone commenter, but, eh, I don’t have their gimlet blog-dissecting eye.

    The Union Square incident is fucking scary and would have driven me into long sessions of drinking or yoga or both simultaneously. Seconding Ethyl’s self-spoiling proposition here.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 9:41 am | Permalink
  33. I think the person who has started a hate blog about another blogger is not exactly a master of perspective, yanno?

    Fuck the haters. You’re Sady Fucking Doyle, and don’t you forget it! ‘Cause we never do. :)

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 11:29 am | Permalink
  34. Kat wrote:

    I’m sorry, I think you’re great.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 11:32 am | Permalink
  35. Farore wrote:

    MS DOYLE YOU DELETE THAT TUMBLY-WHATSIT BLOG RIGHT NOW. You should not EVER stfu because many of us, we need to hear your voice. Right now I am reading TigerBeatdown because I just found out that an abusive ex of mine wrote a story about me and my traumatic past BEFORE him, and put it ON THE INTERNET WHERE ANYONE COULD READ IT, and I am kind of FREAKING THE FUCK OUT in the sense of having panic attacks that make me throw up, and I NEVER throw up, and what I’m saying is I really need some Sady Fucking Doyle today. As frequently as possible, actually. A Beatdown a day keeps the patriarchy away… or at least out of my own skull, ferchrissakes.

    Also, cute pictures:
    http://snuzzy.com
    http://dailysquee.com

    HATERS GONNA HATE
    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kpw1vatkeX1qz88eno1_400.jpg

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 12:06 pm | Permalink
  36. snobographer wrote:

    I’m sorry about the assholes. Next weekend will be better.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 3:27 pm | Permalink
  37. Skateaway wrote:

    what I know is, I got pushed toward some subway tracks this weekend. Somehow this seems way more serious than people on the Internet doing casual drive-by insultings of strangers, and somehow it seems like the same thing

    I think you’ve summed it up right there, Sady. This is why your blog is important, and also why “personal” is not the same thing as “trivial”. Drive-by commenters who lump and label and dehumanize others are not so different from subway lurkers who lump and label and dehumanize others. The same attitudes come into play, and they’re so common it’s scary, and it’s a problem (clearly).

    You couldn’t talk back to those guys in the train station because you would have been in danger. They silenced you with fear. This here’s the internet, baby, and people get awfully pissed when women like Sady Fucking Doyle won’t STFU, when they’re not afraid and they can’t be silenced.

    My wonderful Polish dad taught me a saying for people like that: “As we say in Southern Poland: Tough shitski, y’all.”

    Sady, you keep doing what you do!

    [BTW, the change of name isn't for sock-puppet purposes. Just wanted to switch because I've seen other commenters with my former name, PJ]

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 3:41 pm | Permalink
  38. Ayla wrote:

    Farore, that makes my blood boil.

    Depending on the details of what your ex posted and various other factors like where it’s hosted, you may be able to have the info removed. If you would like assistance, please leave some contact info. I will check back.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 4:21 pm | Permalink
  39. Allow me to attempt to throw in my support by pointing out this:

    “This lady’s blog is far too emotional and personal” and “Concentrate on bigger issues” are classic silencing techniques, and I know very well that if people were saying these things about anyone but yourself you’d come back spitting glorious fire and swinging a mace made of pointed commentary.

    Basically I am saying that these people usually want you to stop being who you are because they are scared of you. And having been there, I know it’s useless and patronizing to tell you, “Don’t give them what they want,” so I won’t. Just know that, in this humble semi-lurker’s opinion, you are an internet superhero, and if you need a break to recharge and continue being your glorious self, then frankly I don’t think any of your readers have any right to complain.

    (Also, did this person seriously try to demonize you for MODERATING COMMENTS? Truly, you are a draconian dictator for screening spam and trolls, and no one else on the internet EVER DOES THAT. Except, you know, most major blogs.)

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 4:36 pm | Permalink
  40. Wesley wrote:

    sometimes the internet is an escapist way of saying, “hey, know what? the real shit out here effing sux so imma look at this other stuff right here and not want to kill myself dead. kthx.” sometimes people need that. don’t let anyone tell you don’t need that, too.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 5:32 pm | Permalink
  41. Leese wrote:

    Just seconding the other comments – you rock, Sady Doyle. Teh fook OUT. So keep doing it.

    And I’m so sorry about those subway assholes. Street harassment hurts no matter what form it takes.

    Interweb hugz xxx

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 5:42 pm | Permalink
  42. Sarah wrote:

    Dear Sady Doyle,

    I personally would like to contribute to your STFU website. I am just so irked that you write such an awesome blog, with opinions that seem to be legitimately yours and that you voice so wonderfully. I also find it reprehensible that you take the time to share important thoughts about very pertinent and so-often-ignored-by-other-people (read: The Media we call Mass), and that you share these thoughts free of charge through the Internet, that mysterious medium that is very much public and very much meant for the blogging of important or not-so-important things. The fact that use this mysterious medium as you see fit is just so absurd to me that I find myself unable to refrain from comment.

    Sady Doyle, you make me wanna shoop.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 6:00 pm | Permalink
  43. Savanna wrote:

    1) You are rad.
    2) I love you.
    3) Don’t stop writing. Don’t stop writing, because you are rad, and also because I love you.

    THIS IS IMPORTANT BUSINESS.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 8:39 pm | Permalink
  44. Angela wrote:

    LOVE.

    Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 11:35 pm | Permalink
  45. Anna wrote:

    I do not say this enough – I love, love, love your work and your blog and your passion and your wit and your razor fucking sharp intelligence and your warmth.
    You have played an extremely large part in helping one long-term mentally ill disabled young lady decide what she wants to aim for in life, rather.
    Fuck everyone else.
    P.S. if this comment sounds like I’m stalking you, I’m, uh, not. I’d take you out to coffee if you asked, though!

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 12:32 am | Permalink
  46. PrettyAmiable wrote:

    Sady, as someone who was affected by the Polish tragedies, please don’t think your problems somehow infringe on our (or Iceland’s) grief. You are allowed to hurt simultaneously, and can ask for and get hugs when you need them. Don’t play the game where you don’t say “Hey, this part of my life sucks” because something somewhere else is worse. It always is, except for that last one person in the world, right? We can help each other get through owies.

    I heart you, think your weekend sucked, and am extremely happy that you’re safe. I hope you feel better.

    Lots of hearts.

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 12:33 am | Permalink
  47. brent wrote:

    I hope you’re not totally offended by this, but one of the reasons I like reading your blog is because it seems like you are really trying to be who you are on the interweb with the pressure of a lot of people paying attention (something most of us bloggers do not have to worry about). It does seem to get out of hand sometimes (ex. the multiple posts about that boner dude), but this is 2010 and that’s what our world is like now. Thanks for being honest and sharing your life and thoughts and friends while trying to dodge all flaming arrows.

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 2:26 am | Permalink
  48. shannon wrote:

    Hi, I’ve been reading forever and just de-lurked today, to say (along with everyone else) that you rock, and your “personal” writing is awesome, in part because, as Alicia wrote, life seems a lot less lonely knowing that I am not the only one dealing with crap, and then feeling guilty about it. But I heard once that one of the most feminist things a woman can do is to take care of herself. Taking care of yourself and focusing on immediate problems in your life does not mean you don’t care about other stuff.

    Also, someone actually criticized you for spending 6,000 words on a single commenter who pissed you off? And this person, the person who criticized you, has an entire hate blog, written specifically for and about one person they don’t like? Really?

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 7:05 am | Permalink
  49. Samantha b. wrote:

    @Brent, except that the Boner post tally got up to three precisely because the initial post generated stacks of comments and bags of cash. Can it be fairly argued that Sady got “out of hand,” by responding to her audience’s obvious sense of connection to an issue? That reads as pretty even keeled to me.

    As Farore suggests, it actually *does* matter that women and their allies have a space to think through the shit that affects their lives; women did seem to feel that Freddiness was, metaphorically speaking, a piece of that shit.

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 8:13 am | Permalink
  50. Fnord Prefect wrote:

    Um, the subway thing? Is now going to be my response to concern trolls who get all vapory over me riding my bike. Sure I can get hit by an inattentive driver (and have been!), but at least aggressive teenagers will not try to murder me by train.

    Also, as I am an internet stranger you should take my opinion at its full value of exchange (=$.02), but I don’t think I like this new Tumblr. I liked your previous one better. I know it is hard, when the internet strangers keep throwing their $.02 on, not to let the weight bring you down. But you can put all those $.02 in a sock, and swing that sock back at anyone who takes a swing at you. My metaphor is clumsy, but what I am trying to say is, don’t let the bastards get you down, because you are awesome.

    Yaka-wow, y’all.

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 9:42 am | Permalink
  51. Finisterre wrote:

    Sady Fucking Doyle kicks arse.

    And call me a big girl’s blouse, but I WANT to read about your personal experiences, partly because many are universal or at least empathise-able, and partly because what you write is so incredibly, satisfyingly spot-on.

    If I want to read about weapons and their technical specifications, or a *completely* objective opinion about women’s sports being boring, there are plenty of opportunities on dudely blogs. I don’t, though.

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 10:02 am | Permalink
  52. Travis wrote:

    Obsessed with your comments section? Maybe…personally, I’ve always thought you’ve had a pretty unhealthy relationship with your RSS feed.

    It’s just a web feed format used to publish frequently updated works! Get over it!

    (I also think you’re awesome!)

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 5:48 pm | Permalink
  53. JMS wrote:

    You know what? If people don’t want to read a particular post you’re making, like BONERS TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO or BONERS THREE IN 3D, they could just scroll on past.

    It’s pretty extreme, I know, but there it is. I am so sorry for the folks who are obviously being taken hostage by someone who forces them to read every one of your posts (or every one of Amanda Marcotte’s, for that matter).

    Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 6:58 pm | Permalink
  54. Evan (a lady) wrote:

    I have a guest post for the STFU Sady Doyle backlash blog:

    Geez Sady Doyle, what is wrong with you? Bringing to my attention the things that were already nagging at me by stating them in a clear way that makes me laugh? That is so messed up. Thanks to you, I have an increased awareness of how pop culture interacts with cultural realities and it is totally making my relationship with my favorite shows and movies way more complicated. I can no longer enjoy Dexter with a clear conscience. Oh wait, I could never do that! Now I am just noticing the sexism of making all the female characters stereotypes (virgin/seductress love interests, bitchy control freak/emotionally unstable boss lady characters, etc.) and perpetuating the whole “women lie about rape to hurt men” thing, as well as the murder and violence that is somehow ingeniously interspersed with humor and other things that make me sympathetic to the sociopath serial killer main character that is already so confusing. So THANKS A LOT for making me think about and engage with stuff. Because thinking about stuff is terrible and being aware of oneself and how one fits in the world for better or worse is totally not a step in the right direction. Telling personal anecdotes that other women can relate to and make us feel we’re not alone in wanting to not have to constantly fight for the right to an opinion or representation in popular media is just awful. Who do you think you are?

    You’re Sady Fucking Doyle.
    Don’t let the haters get you down.

    I’m so sorry you had a shitty day.

    (I haven’t had time to read all the comments, so I apologize if someone has beat me to the sarcastic Sady Doyle backlash comment)

    Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 4:47 am | Permalink
  55. Simon C. wrote:

    @JMS: I’m holding out for BONERS 4 EVER, personally.

    Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 11:27 am | Permalink
  56. George wrote:

    Um, the subway thing? Is now going to be my response to concern trolls who get all vapory over me riding my bike. Sure I can get hit by an inattentive driver (and have been!), but at least aggressive teenagers will not try to murder me by train.

    Also, as I am an internet stranger you should take my opinion at its full value of exchange (=$.02), but I don’t think I like this new Tumblr. I liked your previous one better. I know it is hard, when the internet strangers keep throwing their $.02 on, not to let the weight bring you down. But you can put all those $.02 in a sock, and swing that sock back at anyone who takes a swing at you. My metaphor is clumsy, but what I am trying to say is, don’t let the bastards get you down, because you are awesome.

    Yaka-wow, y’all.

    Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 4:17 pm | Permalink
  57. Simon wrote:

    Sady Fucking Doyle kicks arse.

    And call me a big girl’s blouse, but I WANT to read about your personal experiences, partly because many are universal or at least empathise-able, and partly because what you write is so incredibly, satisfyingly spot-on.

    If I want to read about weapons and their technical specifications, or a *completely* objective opinion about women’s sports being boring, there are plenty of opportunities on dudely blogs. I don’t, though.

    Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 6:45 pm | Permalink
  58. Fnord Prefect wrote:

    Hi George@56, I am just wondering why you chose to c&p the entire text of my comment @50?

    Monday, April 26, 2010 at 2:36 pm | Permalink
  59. What a frightening and off-putting experience at the subway! Freaky.

    I have a Tumblr, and would like to contribute. ^_^ I am a ladynerd and game designer. Linky above.

    Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 1:38 pm | Permalink