Yes, indeed it is! Those of you who have been reading us regularly know the drill: Once, every month, we stop and I make a long, windy, repetitive schpiel about the importance of feminist media and your donations. Then, I make a donation button, and it sort of works! And you click on it, and Tiger Beatdown continues to exist! Yayyyyyy!
Except, this time, I am not going to go for the schpiel. Because you know it already! Short version: Writing is work. On the Internet, you can enjoy people’s work for free! So many people enjoy and appreciate this free work that some places actually want people to work for free, which is bad. (I mean. Sometimes you can get good stuff done that way! It’s just bad when FEWER AND FEWER PEOPLE are getting paid, or getting paid in the Not Enough regions continually.) Because it means we have a ton of folks doing a ton of work and not seeing compensation for it. Man and/or woman cannot live on blog comments alone! Especially since there’s almost invariably a visit from Professor Comments (adjunct at Commenting University; pioneering scholar in the field of Commentology; B.A., M.A., Ph.Comments), who would like you to know that he could have written a far better, more comprehensive, and more factually correct blog post than the one you just did, except that he was busy. Telling someone else how he would have written their post. In the comment section.
Yes, it’s true: When you spend time working on something, you should get paid for it. Especially if that something is as serious and organized and in all ways professional as Tiger Beatdown. We provide a service, people! Why, I’ll have you know that I recently learned that Sofia Coppola’s next movie will star Steven Dorff, and almost immediately came up with several extremely stupid jokes playing on Sofia Coppola’s notable tendency to make movies about sad rich people and/or Sofia Coppola’s other pronounced stylistic tics and/or drawing a connection between Steven Dorff’s appearance in this motion picture and the videos by creepy/offensive comedy legend Dorf! (Dorff on Long-Ass Scenes of Staring Out the Window Regretfully. Dorff on My Millions of Dollars Make Me So Sad Inside. Dorff on the Ennui, THE ENNUI! Dorff on What Huh Why Is This Basically a Strokes Video Now. THEIR NAMES SOUND THE SAME! THE SAME! YOU NEED ME FOR THIS, PEOPLE!) But it is not just me: We are also (yay!) paying our many fine contributors now. And almost all of them take things way more seriously than I do! And have survived my numerous and annoying planning e-mails! They deserve your money! Your various $10s and $20s and oh-look-hey-I-found-this-in-my-hoodie-amounts of cash! Here is a donate button, so that you can express your appreciation for them:
See? Isn’t this more fun when I skip the schpiel? For one thing, I have more time to tell you about our FABULOUS PRIZES. Oh, did I forget to mention the FABULOUS PRIZES? Well, we have those now! You see, I figure that you deserve something for continuing to donate to the site. Something other than, you know, the site continuing to exist. Therefore, we are apportioning out a prize to the person who sends in the largest donation. The prizes will probably change from month to month, as I continue to figure out which prizes are not awful? Feel free to leave suggestions in the comment section? (No, not YOU, Professor Comments. Don’t you have a class of young and hungry would-be obnoxious blog commenters to be teaching?) This month the prize is:
TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! Yes, I know. You all thought it was impossible. Largely because I, myself, am impossible. That much is true! However, should you happen to send in the largest donation this month (we’ll keep it open until Sunday, possibly with some annoying reminders; then, the judges will confer! The judges, also, will be me! And will probably just be looking at the list of incoming donations! The judges: They have an easy job) will be able to do this thing. Tell me exactly what you want me to cover, for an entire week, and I will personally cover those things. This could be AWFUL! You could be like, “Sady. I would like you to run a series on Poop Jokes I Have Enjoyed.” You could be like, “Sady. I would like you to write exclusively about the video game Halo, which you have never even played nor do you want to.” You could be like, “Sady. I don’t like my roommate! Here are a list of her crimes! The world needs to know, Sady!” And I would probably do it. Except for the roommate thing, which is just mean. OR, you could be like, “so, could you actually cover some issues around here? Like, instead of writing about how sex tapes make you sad and puppies make you happy and you have mean things to say about this one actor’s face? Here are some issues to cover, Sady.” And I would do that, too. I am, for once in my bitter little life, opening myself up to being bossed around.
So, here you go. Here is your diabolical button of control and/or megaweapon and/or regular donate button that you can just press to donate what you can afford BUT ALSO IT COULD BE A MEGAWEAPON:
Press away! My fate is in your hands!