So, here’s a thing you know about: SUPERIOR CHINESE TIGER MOM! She was in the Wall Street Journal, talking about how Chinese mothers were sooooo superior to Western mothers, and you should totally scream and call your kids names and chain them to the radiator until they’ve cured cancer, and she was like totally unrepentant and endorsing these messages and SHE HATES YOU. So awful, right?
Except for the fact that she didn’t choose the “Chinese Mothers are Superior” headline. And the Wall Street Journal bit was an excerpt from a book, which details how she came to lose faith in these particular methods. And — unbelievably — some of the descriptions were written to be purposefully over-the-top, as jokes.
Awwww, fuck it. Print the headlines about how “Superior Chinese Tiger Mother may scream her way to getting her own movie” anyway. Write about how she’s oppressing and victimizing her white husband, who is but a blameless victim in this scenario! (You guys, he basically doesn’t even know that he HAS children. How could he have ANY SAY OR COMPLICITY in how they are being raised? Also, he’s a dude!) Not like you’re, I dunno, feeding into anything nasty, right? It’s about time for a good old-fashioned race-and-culture-off! ASIAN PEOPLE VERSUS NON-ASIAN AMERICANS: WHO WILL WIN????? (Hint: Not people who would like to enjoy a delightful day on the Internet without encountering any “me so horny” jokes, that’s for sure.) Oh, and PS? She’s a girl. DOUBLE BONANZA!
Ugh, you guys? Some of the shit decribed in that Wall Street Journal article was just plain mean and unacceptable. We all know this. We can talk about this. But, hey, to switch up the focus for a second: You know what’s also pretty mean? Being a racist asshole in the name of good parenting. Or just generally, really. Allow Amanda Hess of TBD and I to explain!
ILLUSTRATION: Perhaps Western mothers should be stricter when teaching their children to spell racist Internet meme captions.