You guys, I love you all. And I got you something, to show you how I feel.
IT’S A SUPER-CRAPPY-LOOKING ATLAS SHRUGGED TRAILER! Awww, yeah.
A few notes:
- Apparently Well-Meaning Mediocre Guy (or, “Eddie”) is being played by the only black person ever to be cast in an Ayn Rand movie.
- SPOILER: Eddie doesn’t make it.
- Also, Ayn Rand apparently once screamed at a fellow hyper-capitalist for saying that Eddie was his favorite character???
- ALSO, Weaselly PR Guy is being played by Jimmy Barret. As you do.
- They are REALLY going to an enormous length to conceal the fact that most of part one is just people going, “I have opinions on trains!”
Unfortunately, John Galt himself — as played by Paul “Mega Face” Johansson, star of One Tree Hill and various erotic straight-to-video thrillers, and (you’ll never believe it) director of Atlas Shrugged — does not appear in this trailer! (Except as a shadowy, mysterious figure with a Mega Face. WHO COULD IT BE? WHO IS THAT LARGE-FACED MAN???) I know, I know. You feel cheated. We all do! So I had to find this clip of him, for you.
You guys, who is John Galt? And why is he so awesomely capitalist that even his dog objects to the spineless socialist mooching practice of organ donation?
Touches the heart. Doesn’t it? Well, Happy Valentine’s Day.