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This Is What Makes Us Girls

(with apologies to Lana Del Rey.  Trigger warning for misogynistic, transphobic violence)

when men open doors for me
yearning for my smile

and my lover cups my hips, pulling me to her
whispering “mine”

and

when my mother looked at my skirt and said “you’re not going out in that”
and my father said I was dead to him,
an embarrassment to the family

and  they gave him a job instead of me,
and again, and again,

and when they spoke over me, boys and beards alike,
wrote their words and theories on my skin
called me hysterical, unreliable, psychotic,

and

the psychologist asked me what underwear I was wearing,
and the doctor told me to get undressed
while another refused to treat my impure body at all

and strange men pulled at my crotch and my breasts, groping, reaching, tearing,
or the taxi driver said I could pay with sex
and I ran like hell
stumbling in the darkness
wishing I’d worn flats

and their fists hit my chest, and my body crumpled
they call me slut, whore, cunt
and everyone blamed me, anyway.

And you, my sisters, you closed the doors to shelters
and my bruises healed alone

organised conferences and
wrote books
while my words went unheard

and you told me die tranny bitch
called yourself radical

and never once realised how much

you are like the men

you hate.

51 Comments

  1. D. wrote:

    Powerful last lines.

    One has to watch what one hates, because one comes to resemble that.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 7:41 pm | Permalink
  2. Gayle wrote:

    “and you told me die tranny bitch
    called yourself radical”

    This seems implausible to me. I’ve seen the picture of a cake sent to a radical feminist that said “Die Cis Scum!” but I’ve never seen or read anything like that on any radical feminist blog.

    Could you provide a link?

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:06 pm | Permalink
  3. Emily Manuel wrote:

    I don’t approve hate speech. But thank you for deciding that my experiences are “implausible.”

    (Neither do I approve of the “die cis scum” meme, for the record.)

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:09 pm | Permalink
  4. Barb wrote:

    Wow, Gayle, way to prove the point Emily was making in her poem. Just because you’ve never experienced it doesn’t make it “implausible”. Lots of people under lots of banners, including radical feminism, are jerks. Asking for verification rather than trusting that all sorts of people are assholes to transgendered folks, just because you yourself have never seen a radical feminist be so makes you part of the problem, not the solution.

    -Cis female

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:23 pm | Permalink
  5. Gayle wrote:

    The poem is obviously aimed at radical feminists. It’s not even hidden.

    It’s an inflammatory statement to make, to claim someone told you to die. That level of violence goes against everything radical feminism is about, which is exactly why I find it implausible.

    If it happened, she should link it.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:41 pm | Permalink
  6. GallingGalla wrote:

    Exactly. Especially:

    and never once realised how much

    you are like the men

    you hate.

    Gayle, maybe just maybe you ought to look up what happen to Sandy Stone. Cis radfems made death threats against her.

    Or what happened to Nancy Burkholder, when cis women violently threw her out of Michfest.

    Or … wait, why bother? Anybody who would question our experiences as trans women won’t listen anyway.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:55 pm | Permalink
  7. Emily Manuel wrote:

    Oh, you mean like this one? http://www.questioningtransphobia.com/?p=2618#comment-10644

    Of the kind I received SO MANY TIMES that I stopped blogging at Questioning Transphobia? Because we were trolled over and over by radical feminists?

    http://www.questioningtransphobia.com/?p=2643

    Or because radical feminists out and incite violence against trans women?

    http://www.questioningtransphobia.com/?p=3890

    So that when Sady asked me to blog here I didn’t even mention that I was trans for over a year because radical feminists had been so vile to me and I just wanted to be able to write about pop culture and women’s rights?

    Yeah. Really fucking implausbile.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:56 pm | Permalink
  8. Emily Manuel wrote:

    Disbelieving everything a trans woman says, that is precisely what radical feminism stands for.

    I eagerly await your apology.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 8:57 pm | Permalink
  9. Katherine wrote:

    Gayle, you’re either shockingly naive or deeply in denial about what goes on in the radfem community. A trans friend told me what she had experienced, and it took me all of about ten minutes of exploring radfem blogs to find appalling levels of eliminationist rhetoric.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 9:33 pm | Permalink
  10. Jay wrote:

    Amazing poem..! I am about a week away from my first endocrinologist appointment and I’m trying to learn everything I can about what lies ahead for future me. Beautiful words Emily, they resonate to the core.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 10:00 pm | Permalink
  11. Copcher wrote:

    This is beautiful. And heartbreaking.

    Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 10:00 pm | Permalink
  12. Well, I went to gather links and found E.M. had already done that. But anyway, here are some examples that weren’t difficult to find (ahem, Gayle. And really, it’s a poem. I don’t think factual footnotes are required here). Read the comments to get the full vitriol; though not death threats, there’s eliminationist crap and general hatred and dehumanization of transpeople.

    http://radicalhub.com/2011/09/05/sex-gender-lies-female-hatred/#comments

    http://madradfab.wordpress.com/2011/11/21/man2furry2transanimal/

    I actually remember finding this site after seeking out radfem writing and being shocked to discover major trans-hatred. I thought it was some fluke, but I kept looking and it’s actually difficult to find a radfem community or site that doesn’t tolerate trans hatred (any recommendations?) Which is really disappointing (to say the least) since I consider myself more or less a radical feminist. Seriously, wtf?

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 1:36 am | Permalink
  13. aravind wrote:

    Before I say anything, let me say that this is an amazing poem, and if it’s okay, I’d like to pass the link to this post around Facebook. Is that okay with you, Emily?

    Secondly, with regard to this:

    Gayle: “The poem is obviously aimed at radical feminists. It’s not even hidden.”

    I’m pretty sure you totally missed the point of these lines:

    “wrote their words and theories on my skin /
    called me hysterical, unreliable, psychotic,”

    Don’t assume that you know exactly what others are intending to say. Don’t assume that you can speak for them. And don’t assume that they could never have experienced something. I thought those were things radical feminists tried to stand for?

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:36 am | Permalink
  14. Megpie71 wrote:

    I’ll put this bluntly: I think trans women are deserving of far more support than they have ever received from the traditional “leaders” of various branches of the feminist movement. I’m saying this as a cis female person who has spent most of her life suffering from privilege envy when she looks at masculine experience. Trans women voluntarily relinquish that male privilege – they give up being able to pass as “default” human beings. That, to me, is more than just lip-service solidarity with the feminist movement.

    And yet the radical side of feminism seems to have a lot invested in denying the heartfelt female identity of these women, in denying any chance of a trans female person’s strong identification with their femaleness as being genuine. Instead, to a lot of “radical” feminists, if you haven’t been born with a womb or a vagina, you can never really be female – a position as bigotedly, pig-headedly biologically reductionist as the views of the most ardently misogynist advocate of keeping women “barefoot and pregnant” and out of public life. Indeed, the “radical” feminist perspective on being female bears one hell of a lot of similarities to the perspective of Victorian masculinity on the subject – it’s largely from the “radical” feminist side of theory that we see the continual resurrection of the image of woman as pacifistic angel, of woman as demi-divine being, of woman as something which should be kept separate from the hurly-burly of public life. Radical feminism likes to set itself up as the safe-keepers of the shelters, preaching a gospel of female victimhood and masculine aggression which is just as toxic as the one coming from the pulpits of the churches, or the speakers of the radios tuned to the talk-back radio demagogues.

    I lost respect for the radical end of feminism when they started denying the experiences of trans persons as being genuine experiences of gender identity. I lost all respect for them when they started denying trans women entry to women-only spaces, such as shelters, women’s rooms, and festivals. To me, the person who has relinquished their masculinity, the person who has been forced to undergo years of evaluation to reinforce their gender identity, the person whose embrace of their gender identity actually requires medical intervention – that person has possibly more right to claim their gender identity as accurate than someone like me, who merely got born into it, and who dislikes a lot of the physical manifestations.

    I’m female, yes. But it’s an accident of biology, much the same as my racial identity (white Australian). I have cis privilege, and I don’t see that as being a reason to deny my trans sisters the rewards of the identity they’ve sought and fought to have recognised for so very long.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:46 am | Permalink
  15. Shazmafat wrote:

    Soooo, some anonymous internet troll with the moniker “fuck you” wrote “die tranny” on a post somewhere on the internet, and you immediately link that to all radical feminists, and go ahead and slander radical feminists using emotive poetry? Not cool.
    So tired of radical feminists being abused and slandered by transactivists.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 10:27 am | Permalink
  16. Emily Manuel wrote:

    Soooo did you look at the other post where we had IP addresses from the same set of trolls confirmed by four different websites?

    So tired of radical feminists putting their hate out there and then pretending as though they, poor wee cis women, couldn’t POSSIBLY be capable of such things.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 10:41 am | Permalink
  17. Emily Manuel wrote:

    Sorry, next time I write a poem I’ll have a works cited list, eh.

    MLA format okay?

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 10:42 am | Permalink
  18. Emily Manuel wrote:

    I’m glad the radical feminists commenting here are focused on that one line, and not, say, the one about shelter doors being closed.

    It does say quite a lot about your priorities that you don’t want to talk about transmisogynistic institutional exclusion and the way that enables very real violence. Bit inconvenient, that bit.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 10:50 am | Permalink
  19. Emily Manuel wrote:

    I actually don’t remember many feminists disbelieving Sady when she said men call her things. I do remember MRAs, though.

    Completely different. Definitely. Different. Definitely.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 10:55 am | Permalink
  20. Lucy wrote:

    Your poem is incredible, Emily, and as a cis straight woman I have to say that even *I* am insulted by the stunning lack of compassion displayed by radical feminists in this and other threads. I cannot begin to wrap my head around the cognitive dissonance of using against trans people the same invalidating and victim-blaming rhetoric that’s so decried when it’s used against women.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 11:01 am | Permalink
  21. Y. Lerer wrote:

    1) Great poem, Emily!
    2) I really fail to see how this poem is at all abusive or slanderous. Or how it condemns all radical feminists. Seriously, selective misreading much? The poem is about the total experience of transmisogyny, whether that comes from the family,various social institutions, or transphobic versions of radical feminism. Hardly a slanderous attack, if you ask me.
    3) Obviously, even just considering the parts of the poem which are about transphobic radical feminism (which do not even take up the majority of the poem, lord jeebus!)- obviously, this is not just a response to one mean comment on a years-old blog entry. Obviously, this is about systemic, structural oppression that results in the very real marginalization and death of trans women. Obviously.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 11:22 am | Permalink
  22. Arwyn wrote:

    To the extent that there is an inaccuracy in the poem, it’s that while (some) self-termed radical feminists are conscious and deliberate in their exclusion (and persecution) of trans women, many many others of us are guilty by neglect and ignorance and too-easy concession to the radfem/kyriarchy agenda.

    I also find it fascinating that here is a woman sharing her experiences, experiencing disbelief from members of an oppressive class, in ways that JUST HAPPEN to align with the dominant expressions of kyriarchy. I mean, we’ve never seen that pattern as a means to further marginalization, right? It’s not like Derailing For Dummies could be used as a playbook for this conversation or anything. It’s a coincidence, surely. Definitely not evidence that *supports what she just said*. Nah.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 11:38 am | Permalink
  23. GallingGalla wrote:

    Dear cis radical feminists who are getting yr backs up: If it ain’t about you, it ain’t about you. Capice?

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 11:42 am | Permalink
  24. Xeginy wrote:

    1.) This is a poem. It is not an academic essay, nor is it some hard-hitting journalism. The author does not need to provide links to “prove” their experiences.

    2.) I didn’t read this as an indictment of radical feminism at all. I read it as an indictment of institutions that are set up to assist women who are survivors of violence. Those institutions fail at assisting those who are not cis-women.

    3.) I am a domestic violence advocate. I have seen both domestic violence AND homeless shelters regularly turn away trans survivors because of “worries” about how the other residents would react. When everything is organized according to gender, and when funding is often dependant on maintaining that boundary, shelters are less likely to reach out to those who need help.

    4.) Despite the fact that one women’s homeless shelter in my city has opened their doors to transwomen, and had nothing but success, other shelters are STILL hesitant to make the same transition. Trans folks already face systemic oppression in other areas of society; unfortunately, this oppression extends into the institutions that are supposedly designed to help them escape violence.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 11:43 am | Permalink
  25. Rachel wrote:

    I can’t exactly say I enjoyed your poem but it is well written and expressive. I’m sorry you have had to deal with all these things. I have no doubt that transgendered people face more and different kinds of discrimination that most biological women. It makes me sad that so called feminist women would turn such hatred on transgendered women. But they don’t speak for all women. I’ve been a feminist for decades and I would be happy to support you though your experience of womanhood is likely quite different than mine. I recently lost my Trandgendered sister in law and I feel like I lost her twice over since she died without the family getting to know her as the happier transgendered woman she had become. And I think a lot of it was about her fears of discrimination, harassment and hatred toward transgendered people. When anyone has to live in fear we are all diminished.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
  26. Ro wrote:

    When I can get scoffed at, looked down on, and sneered at just for being BIsexual among a lesbian or gay crowd? I’ve been told that you can’t be bisexual, I just need to make up my mind…that I’m just playing around with girls and I’m lying to myself…or worse, that I’m lying to any woman I might date because I’m “really straight”.

    There is nothing “implausible” about any group of people hating any other group, no matter HOW much they preach tolerance. So many of us spend our teenage years feeling like we just don’t fit in anywhere, and then out in the real world you find all these different groups of people, and you think HERE is a place where they won’t ostracize me for X! Except that the hate speech doesn’t stop…it just switches targets.

    I’m a pagan…but it’s really hard to have meaningful spiritual conversations with many other pagans, when they pepper their Facebook pages with “this is what I hate about Christians!” and “kill the Christians!” posts. Yes, because I really am interested in your deeper understanding of spiritual matters when you believe that ANYONE should die, not for any actions that that person did, but simply for their *beliefs*.

    I’m a woman, and I like dating, sleeping with, having emotional relationships with, other women. I’m also polyamorous and married to a man…my second heterosexual marriage, in fact, which together have resulted in 7 children. It’s hard for me to have a serious conversation with most of my gay friends about political issues or tolerance, when I’ve seen them use the word “breeder” with scorn. (“Oh, we don’t mean *you* of course! Someone’s got to continue to populate the planet with intelligent children!) But you’re not insulting their small-mindedness, or their bigotry…you’re insulting their sexuality. “Breeder” as an insulting term is just as bad as saying “faggot” or “dyke” with a curled up lip.

    Caring about people’s right to live their own lives, whether they agree with you or not, is something that everyone claims to believe to be true…but it’s a rare gem to find someone who practices it.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 1:07 pm | Permalink
  27. addiejd wrote:

    Personal experiences are always valid, regardless of the person who experiences them. Unless you have the gall to come out and say that Emily is not a person then her experiences are just as valid as yours.

    That poem was lovely and powerful.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 1:15 pm | Permalink
  28. Ro wrote:

    For that matter, why is everyone pointing to BLOGS to demand proof of the experience that generated a single line in this poem? Back when I was attending a Christian church, I got told to “Die, you Christian shithead!” once. To my face. For doing nothing more than exiting the church with my family. I wasn’t picketing an abortion clinic, or carrying a sign that said gay people were abominations, or anything other than walking out of a place of worship.

    Now, I don’t have any proof of that ever happening. But I remember it quite viscerally. And were I writing a poem about hatred today, that experience would probably find its way in there. I can’t attribute it to any particular class of people, because I don’t know WHY that particular group of idiots was standing outside our church cussing out people (they weren’t carrying signs, or protesting anything in particular), but you know something odd? For all the pagan community likes to complain about Christians being evil, I’ve never had a Christian tell me to die for being pagan.

    I’ve never had a heterosexual person tell me to die for being bisexual. I have had lesbians tell me to “get the fuck out” of their lesbian bar.

    But that’s my personal experience. And you know, if I were writing a poem, I wouldn’t write it about things people I’ve never met are saying on the internet. I write poetry about things that I’ve experienced *personally*, that affected me directly, about being hit or slapped or spit on or cussed at or told to fuck off and die TO MY FACE, not some unfeeling pixels on a screen.

    And I can’t offer footnotes on those to prove they happened. AND YOU SHOULDN’T FUCKING HAVE TO.

    I’m sorry for the shit you have to go through to live your life, and I appreciate the fact that most of what makes me different from the norms doesn’t show when I’m at work in my office – nobody judges my ability to do my job based on who I sleep with or the altar in my bedroom. And I loved your poem. It was evocative and haunting with just the right whisper in the back of your head.

    —The mommy who lets her daughter cut her hair short or grow it out…and lets her son wear his hair long or short just the same…and lets both kids play with makeup and nail polish and decide whether they want to wear pink, purple, black, red, or polka dots as they see fit. (As long as it’s clean. ;)

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 1:26 pm | Permalink
  29. Ruth wrote:

    Thank you for this, it’s very powerful. Also, what Ro said.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:15 pm | Permalink
  30. Xiao Mao wrote:

    Narcissistic, self-pitying poetry, with an attack against radical feminists (comparing us to men).

    Nice.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:20 pm | Permalink
  31. SophiaBlue wrote:

    If radical feminists don’t want to be compared to men, perhaps they should not use the same language against trans women that men use against them.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:34 pm | Permalink
  32. Emily Manuel wrote:

    But SophiaBlue, no man has ever called a woman narcissistic and self-pitying for writing in the first person about her life! That is not a thing at all!

    Back in the kitchen for me *sadface

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:40 pm | Permalink
  33. Emily Manuel wrote:

    So here is the deal, my chickadees: you’re not pure, I’m not pure. None of us are outside of kyriarchy, none.

    All that fucked up shit that’s been flung at you? That’s inside of you too, just waiting to come out, just waiting for you to reach out to grab it when you feel righteously angry enough. Because our culture teaches us to hate each other, and it gives us fucked-up tools to do so so effectively.

    And sometimes, as with those radfems who are transphobic, you don’t even realise that you ARE using the same tools. Because you feel so, so right, so so justified.

    And you are not alone; the history of human evil is not really of evil, but horrific and dehumanising things done in the name of good.

    And we have this idea of complete innocence, ontological identity innocence, which is why we play this Oppression Olympics game so hard, jostling
    for the right *to* be righteously angry, to gain the only bit of power we can in a world which often robs of self-determination and the ability to thrive.

    Almost every one has the power to hurt someone, in some fashion, whether it be by words, violence or pulling what societal levers you *can* access. There’s always someone to kick across, or down.

    And so few of us are really willing to look in the mirror and say, yes I have that potential–let alone yes, I have done that or am doing that. True culpability is a hard thing, because it demands responsibility to one another. Even – especially! – those strange people who you don’t like or understand very much, who feel like they threaten your world, just by existing.

    So yes. It’s liberating for marginalised people who’ve had to suppress their anger (cis and trans women alike), being righteous and angry. It is. Sometimes you have to scream out your anger, because if you can’t change a situation at least you can get your voice out.

    But if you think that is *all* that I have had to say, here and elsewhere, then you are not really listening, anyway.

    I hope that one day you will, though.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 2:58 pm | Permalink
  34. Emily Manuel wrote:

    This is your final boarding call to comment on this thread, as I believe I’m one pointless comment away from closing it up. I don’t see a lot of productive discussion going on here, but have at it in the next hour if you do have something to say.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:01 pm | Permalink
  35. phoebe wrote:

    I just want to say thank you for sharing this poem and your experiences. It’s a beautiful poem, I’m so sad that the experiences you describe happened to you, and that you’re getting so much disbelief and hatred.

    Thank you

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:20 pm | Permalink
  36. this might be pointless, but i can’t express in words quite how much this resonated with me. i said it on reddit, but…this:

    “the psychologist asked me what underwear I was wearing,
    and the doctor told me to get undressed
    while another refused to treat my impure body at all”

    …so much this. mostly because i feel a little less alone in terms of knowing that people, cis, trans, or otherwise who shout down our experiences in situations like this are merely reinforcing their fiction to try to deny our experiences.

    thanks. a lot. like a whole hell of a lot.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:21 pm | Permalink
  37. Molly wrote:

    Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry that the very act of sharing an expression of the pain and rejection you’ve experienced was turned into another experience of pain and rejection.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:31 pm | Permalink
  38. Helen wrote:

    Thank you.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:33 pm | Permalink
  39. GGeek wrote:

    This was so powerful, Emily, thank you. I’ll be sharing it.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:47 pm | Permalink
  40. Phledge wrote:

    I consider myself lucky that my first foray into radical feminism was at Twisty’s joint, where anti-trans sentiment is absolutely not tolerated. Some of yous might find comfort and welcoming there: blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:49 pm | Permalink
  41. Zoie at TouchstoneZ wrote:

    Thank you for writing this. It moved me, more after following some conversations on twitter. Most importantly though, it moved me as a human being. It reminds me that, like larger movements of marginalized groups within which are marginalized smaller groups, there are individuals that each hold the entire power of the movement within them.

    Ignore the personal power within the story of the individual and lose the meaning behind the larger group.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:53 pm | Permalink
  42. Cam wrote:

    This was powerful and so painful to read. I will never understand why some “feminists” don’t accept trans. But maybe I’m naive in the fact that I believe feminism should be about empowerment of the feminine, encouragement for equality, and compassion for all who are hurting.

    Thank you for this poem.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 3:57 pm | Permalink
  43. Rachel wrote:

    This poem is incredible. Thank you so, so very much for sharing your talent and your story.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 4:25 pm | Permalink
  44. Annafel wrote:

    Emily Manuel, thank you for your heartbreaking poem, and thank you for engaging with the commenters in this thread, even when they completely do not deserve your time. I am so glad that there are people like you who are brave and strong enough to keep fighting. I am trying to be a good ally, and everything you’ve written here is going to help me with that.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 4:49 pm | Permalink
  45. Lucy wrote:

    Thank you for an incredibly beautiful, incredibly monstrous (in the very old meaning of monster) poetic statement. That the sisters of whom you speak still refuse to do more than focus on a single thing and disbelieve reality only adds power to this.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 4:57 pm | Permalink
  46. Erika wrote:

    Beautiful and poignant. Thank you for sharing. I am glad I found this via twitter.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Permalink
  47. Nyssa23 wrote:

    I just want to join my voice to those saying thank you to Emily for sharing her writing. Surely, as feminists, we ought to be supporting the rights and needs of all women, and working for a more just world for all humans, rather than picking and choosing whom we will deem worthy of our support.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 6:35 pm | Permalink
  48. Alex wrote:

    Thank you for this poem. There’s so much that you say with few powerful, painful words. And I don’t think Miss Del Rey would mind the title.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 6:38 pm | Permalink
  49. Cali wrote:

    Not just as a feminist, but also as a human being, I am genuinely disgusted by all of you who question the validity of this. How dare you take somebody’s experiences and twist them to make them about yourself. Shame on you. You are no better than people who say rape victims lie all the time and simply scratch their stories. It is never, ever acceptable.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 6:48 pm | Permalink
  50. Joy wrote:

    Thank you. This was stunning.

    Please keep writing. Please do what you need to feel safe, but keep saying what must be said.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 8:34 pm | Permalink
  51. ellysabeth wrote:

    Emily-

    So much resonance, here, experiences similar enough that reading brought back some of the old sting.

    Like the haters, I want to disbelieve. I want to believe in a world where these sorts of things never happened – to you or to me.

    But if these sorts of things must happen, if trans people must suffer, it’s sort of nice at least that people are willing to provide object lessons right there in the comment thread following your poetic recollection of painful experiences past, so that none need leave wondering what trans experience of misogyny look like – here we have a helpful group of people all prepared to illustrate!

    Love and well-wishes.

    Wednesday, May 30, 2012 at 8:53 pm | Permalink