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[BONERS], For Fun and Profit: The Extent To Which You Don’t Care About [BONERS], Revealed!

Guys: It’s been a fun weekend. I went out with some ladies, including the lovely C.L., and drank “ironic” Amaretto sours (here’s some advice: DO NOT DO THAT. IT’S AWFUL. And no-one but you thinks it’s funny) and did various sensual dances which resulted in me tripping and falling face-first into a couch. Sensually! On the following morning, I felt a heretofore-unknown spiritual kinship with Ke$ha. I cooked up some pretty good risotto. I firmed up our new Tiger Beatdown Contributor Roster, which: More news on that to come. My best friend and I found a bar like three blocks away from me, and it had a smoking patio, and the music there wasn’t awful! I was excited! So, yeah, I had a good weekend.

You know who didn’t have a good weekend, though, was Freddie’s [BONER]. There is some sadness going on in its vicinity, it would appear! Sadness of the extensively blogged variety!

And you know, it occurs to me that there is maybe a 3,000-word post to be written on how exactly Freddie’s sadness is a textbook demonstration of the Dude Privilege at work, and a stunning, nigh-perfect lesson on How Not To Be A Feminist Man. We could start that blog post out, for example, by talking about that first post he so generously promoted on this blog, which attacked this blog, and basically boiled down to saying that Freddie knows his feminism way better than most people because he’s read some books, and therefore he is not required to privilege the voices of actual women, who have actually experienced sexism and oppression in conversations about feminism. Even before we get to the closing paragraph, which is about whether Amanda and I would be good dates who are mature and enlightened and Authentically Feminist enough to basically tell Freddie he is right about everything, there’s this:

That guy you see in the picture there to the right (that handsome fellow) is indeed what a feminist looks like, a particular feminist, this feminist. And this feminist is not looking for validation, confirmation or blessing from any particular female feminists. Feminism is not lady business; it is the business of all people who pursue equity and liberation, and who take the elimination of entrenched power imbalances as their ethical duty…

[Blah blah blah there should not be] an excuse for female feminists, whether cisgendered or transgendered, to be empowered to have a constantly shifting definition of how male feminists are allowed to operate within feminist discourse. Far too often, the expectation that male feminists should be equally devoted to advancing the feminist cause is carried by female feminists who will turn around, when an argument arises about what best represents and advances feminism, and assert their privilege over feminist discourse based on the fact that they are female.

Read that passage. Read it, like, several times. Because what Freddie is saying, in fact, is that he is such a good feminist that he should not have to listen to women. He is such a good feminist that, when he enters feminist spheres, he should not have to give up the privilege that he, as a man, has experienced his entire life. He should not have his authority, his experience, or the validity of his insight questioned on the basis that he has not actually experienced the oppression he claims to be fighting. For women to assert their own primacy, their own knowledge and expertise, which is gained not primarily from “intellectual” sources such as works of theory, but which is based on the simple, practical, gut-level experience of being oppressed every day of their fucking lives, with (in my case, and many other cases) theory consumed and utilized, not to teach them much that is new, but to help them verbalize and explain what they already know… well, that’s “privilege,” it’s “privileging women,” and it’s unfair, because it means that Freddie isn’t treated as the World’s Foremost Expert. On our fucking lives.

Yes: Freddie, as a feminist, wants to be regarded as knowing more about women than women do. And he gets really, really sad and angry when you tell him that, because he is a man, he will never know more about womanhood or women’s oppression than women, and he will never be allowed to define feminism for women, and he will never be able to engage in feminist discussions without having his privilege pointed out to him. That’s what’s at stake here: Whether Freddie’s “feminist” engagement should involve listening to women, and valuing their voices enough to make them central to his understanding, or whether (as he explicitly seems to wish) he will be allowed to be a “feminist” while keeping his ability to oppress women, his privilege, intact and unchallenged. Don’t think for a second it’s anything more advanced or “intellectual” than that. Freddie is a man, and it makes him mad that women don’t listen to, agree with, and obey him. Because of his “feminism.” Which, as he explicitly states above, is not based on any obligation to listen to or learn from the people that feminism is intended to help.

In social justice circles, this phenomenon is known as “entitlement.” Or, in Internet social justice circles, where we give everything LOLcatty names because we can and it amuses us, we call it “mansplaining.” If Freddie were an actual ally, someone who was coming correct to feminism, he would still probably fall into the Pit of Mansplanation every so often. Just as I, an anti-racist white woman, fall into the Pit of Whitesplaining. Just as I, a pro-trans cisgender lady, fall into the Pit of Cissplaining. But when it happens to me, I try to behave myself. When Nitsuh Abebe tells me to fucking stop referring to hipster indie music criticism as a “white thing,” because he works for Pitchfork and  he writes hipster indie music criticism and he’s black and I fucking well know that enough to not erase him from my account of the world, well: I type the words “you’re right,” and I apologize, and then I fucking stop doing it. Because that’s how an ally behaves, as I understand it. When C.L. Minou points out to me that I need to stop complaining about how awkward period sex is, because the worst thing that’s going to happen to me if I have an Unpleasant Revelation For A Straight Dude along those lines is that the dude is not going to want to have sex with me, and will maybe act like a douche about it, whereas if she discloses some of her own Revelations to a straight dude she’s been making out with, there’s a substantial chance that she will get fucking murdered, because that happens often, well: I shut the fuck up about period sex, is what I do.

What Freddie does is to leave nine comments and write two blog posts about how mean I am. For the record. Because that “I shouldn’t have to listen to women because I’m a better feminist than they are” thing is, like, not something he is willing to give up. And my tone, well: My TONE! It is just OUT OF LINE! In Freddie’s estimation. Why can’t Freddie define the terms on which I am allowed to engage with Freddie, on this blog, written and edited and run by me and not by Freddie, and expect me to obey him? You guys: I’m just really, really, really mean and awful, for not doing what Freddie tells me to do.

And it’s true! I am mean! I may, last night, have given a dramatic reading of Freddie’s latest blog post about me, in which I started out in an only slightly quavery and whiny voice, and by the end of it was dramatizing the full-blown hysterical sobbing in which I imagined Freddie to indulge, helplessly, while writing it. I may have taken no small pleasure in that. But here’s the thing: When it comes to fighting back against my own oppression, which Freddie is blatantly trying to enforce on me in my own space, I don’t play nice. As a woman, I do have to fight to be recognized as an authority on anything and everything up to and including my own personal fucking life. I created this blog specifically so that there would be a place that I could publish my opinions, on my oppression, without being subject to anyone else’s ideas about what was “appropriate” or “acceptable” or “marketable” or good. I wanted to carve out a Room of One’s Own on the Internet. Without editors, without filters, without inhibitions. So if you try to act like my editor, on my site, of which I am editor-in-chief and sole paramount authority? I stopped going to church a long time ago. And my philosophy, on the topic of responding to sexists on my personal blog, is not so much, “if a man strike you, turn the other cheek” as it is, “if a man strike you, knock the fucker unconscious, break into his house, and sell all his shit on eBay before you burn his place to the ground.” Because I am a woman, and I find that, as a woman, there aren’t all that many places in the world where it is totally fucking unacceptable for men to treat me disrespectfully. But Tiger Beatdown is such a place. And when a man breaks the rules, we make an example out of him.

And, yeah, the “I’m Sady fucking Doyle” thing turned people off. You think I didn’t know it would turn people off? Women are not supposed to say that shit, even when it’s true. And it was there completely on purpose, with full acknowledgement that people would call me a narcissist, self-absorbed, in love with myself, etc, for saying it. Because I wanted to convey to Freddie that Freddie ain’t shit, largely because he actually ain’t. But I also wanted Freddie, who is hugely terrified of women who assert their authority and primacy in the feminist movement, to be confronted with the sight of a woman acknowledging, accepting, and reveling in her own authority and power. That shit is terrifying, often even to women, but definitely to men. So now Freddie’s sulking that Sady Doyle is “telling everyone about how impressed with herself she is.” And I am. Because I knew that would piss him the hell off. Because I’m a woman, and I have accordingly been taught my entire life to view myself as lesser-than, to devalue my own accomplishments, to accept it when other people treat me as lesser-than and devalue me, which they (if they are men, especially) have been taught to do. And I refuse. I say no. I tell you I’m Sady fucking Doyle, and I expect you to believe it. Being a woman who likes herself, is proud of herself, is impressed with herself, in public: There might not be a more subversive act.

Although, also, I write that I “find myself unbearable,” and otherwise make fun of myself, all the fucking time. So.

And, yeah, it doesn’t escape my attention that, amongst other blowback, I’ve been called “shrill” and “self-obsessed even for a blogger” and at least one person with a male screen name has expressed the desire that I be (verbally) “bitch-slapped.” It’s not the first time I’ve been threatened with a slap designed specifically for bitches like me, and it won’t be the last. But it’s fun to know who’s on Freddie’s side. And it might just, when put in context, point out to you why it is important for feminist, female bloggers — and we all do this, because we’ve all experienced the same bullshit — to police their spaces, and to make them distinctively unsafe environments for hostility aimed at the blogger in question. We pick on Freddie because we want all the other Freddies to be scared of what might happen to them if they try to pull the same thing. Because, otherwise, they will pull it. You have an unmoderated comment section? You have a 100-comment pile-up in your thread about how you are a terrible bad man-hater for making that joke about the pickle jars, and did you know women like to lie about being raped. (UPDATE: That pile-up has gotten bigger since I posted. Sample comment: “Next time I give you two any attention, I’m expecting one of you two to suck my dick so I can put up with the other one’s ‘edgy’ ranting.”) The fact that Freddie can get so worked-up about a single, relatively small incident is illustrative; it shows how, as a man, he is privileged and protected from the massive amounts of hostility women on the Internet face every single day.

So, also, let’s look at the specific passages he seems to have objected to! First, he was sad that Amanda and I made jokes on Sexist Beatdown about creepy guys who hit on you at the pro-choice rally, or who walk up to you after Women’s Studies classes to say that you’ve Opened Their Eyes, while said eyes linger just a little too long, and too intently, on your upper torso. Now: A common phrase, which just about every ally has ever heard or been instructed to heed, is, “if it’s not about you, don’t make it about you.” That is: If someone is describing a gross, oppressive behavior that some people in your privileged group engage in, then there is no reason to get defensive unless you personally engage in that behavior, in which case you need to stop complaining about your hurt feelings and focus on how quickly and completely you can cut that shit out. And rushing to the defense of people who do engage in the oppressive behavior, even if you don’t engage in it, is not acceptable, because you’re showing solidarity with your privilege, rather than with the people who are being hurt or oppressed. There is no better way to announce that you seriously don’t care about racism than to leap to the defense of some racist-ass people and ask people of color to stop talking about them in such a critical tone, for example. So I would just tell Freddie that if our jokes about pseudo-feminists who are in it for the pussy aren’t about him, he shouldn’t make them about him. But I’m pretty sure they are, in fact, about him. Because he closes the post by wondering whether Amanda and I would be total boner-killers on a date.

Next, there’s the post on which he left the comment that led to his downfall. He characterizes this post, on his blog, as “very mean.” This post was a Sexist Beatdown, again. And it was explicitly about how feminists should listen to and heed oppressed men on the topic of their various oppressions, and about how women and other marginalized people can and should ally with each other. But, in the meantime, we also made jokes about how some dudes are so wrapped up in their own privilege that they can’t bear to see women write about their own experiences of oppression, and about how they make up fake “oppressions” like being asked to open pickle jars (or not being automatically regarded as The World’s Foremost Experts on Feminism, when they are on dates with professional, well-published feminist writers), and how they leave obnoxious comments that boil down to “WHAT ABOUT ME,” which are clearly intended to shut women down and make them focus on dudes, as The Patriarchy has trained us to believe that all women should do at all times. This was the “very mean” post that got Freddie so riled up he had to leave his self-promotery comment about how much he hates Sexist Beatdown and/or the Tiger Beatdown on which it appears. This was where he got really fucking offended and scared about the jokes. And, again, I would tell Freddie that “if it’s not about you, don’t make it about you.” But are you kidding me? It’s completely about him. It might as well have been written specifically about him. He’s doing the exact thing we described in that post.

And, I mean, here’s the fucking cherry on top of Freddie’s shit sundae, the thing that makes all of this so glorious: His comment? And his blog post, about how women don’t listen enough to men? Well, he linked me to that blog post at the end of Visions of Manliness week. In which, if you didn’t notice, I published exclusively men, on the topic of their experiences and oppressions. In which I not only advocated for men as feminist allies (and for feminists as allies to men), I pointed out, promoted, praised, and defended the work of feminist men. For an entire week. And I capped it off with a dialogue on how women can better ally with men, and how men can better ally with women. And that’s when Freddie decided to scold me, publicly, for not listening to men enough.

Because none of this is actually about “feminist men.” Hear me: none of it is about that, or has ever been about that. At all. It’s not about the role of men in the feminist movement (they have one); it’s not about whether men can be feminists (they can, and are); it’s not about how feminist men and feminist women work together (they do a good job of it, around here), or whether those feminist men and women focus on the issues and oppressions that affect men (we do). All of that has been explicitly addressed and dealt with, on this blog, over the course of this week. It’s not about whether feminist women value feminist men; it’s about whether feminist women value male privilege. And it’s about, specifically, whether feminist women value Freddie. And it’s about, specifically, whether I value Freddie and his male privilege. And you know what? This particular feminist just does not give a fuck about either of those things. I value Freddie, and male privilege, not in the least, not at all, not one little tiny bit. And he can just sob into his pillow and/or his Blogspot about that for the next year, for all I care. Because I, me personally, I don’t care about Freddie’s [BONERS].

But here’s the thing: You don’t care about Freddie’s [BONERS], either. For, pursuant to Freddie’s epic hissy about how scared and offended and sad joke-making ladies make Freddie, I made you a promise. “Goof away, it’s the Internet, and it’s your dime,” Freddie wrote, sulkily, and I was inspired. I was inspired to tell you that, if you enjoyed the goofing, well, it could be your dime, too. And so I founded the We Don’t Care About Freddie’s Boners Foundation, the first action of which was to start a pledge drive in which every dollar you donated would result in me making a joke. It is a dollars-for-jokes transaction, this thing I am describing. And here, now, is the minimum number of jokes which I personally am required to make:

2,130.19

Holy crap! Two thousand, one hundred and thirty point one nine jokes in the next year alone! And most of you only requested like two or ten or fifteen jokes, individually! There are just a LOT of people who don’t care about Freddie, apparently! (Also: This is enough to cover rent this month! And, potentially, food! So thank you.) Clearly, I need to get to work. For example, here is a joke for you!

FREDDIE: Knock, knock.

SADY: Who’s there?

FREDDIE: [BONERS.]

So, a joke for you! Oh, look, here’s another:

FREDDIE: Knock, knock.

SADY: Who’s –

FREDDIE: OH MY GOD YOU ARE BEING SO MEAN TO ME I’M GONNA TELL MY BLOG WHY DON’T YOU CARE ABOUT DUDES?!??!!

There! Only two thousand, one hundred and twenty-eight (point one nine) jokes to go! I don’t know what equates to 0.19 jokes, I will tell you now. Maybe I could post a funny GIF?

100 Comments

  1. PrettyAmiable wrote:

    This was wonderful.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 2:51 pm | Permalink
  2. Scott wrote:

    Thanks, Sady. As much as I like the humor (and I like it very much) these educational posts are some of my favorites.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:02 pm | Permalink
  3. Lampry wrote:

    Pft, well it’s clear you’re just a humorless feminist harpy. Err… wait no, no that’s the wrong trope. It’s clear you’re just a too-humorous, feminist clown. Won’t you ever learn? The mensies know better than you. Because their magical boners endow them with extra knowledge.

    *note* Now I am desirous of a painted-on-velvet picture of a unicorn leaping over a rainbow, with the title, “Magical boners.” Make this happen Sady. Or I will blame you of not wanting to partake in serious dialogue.

    *extra note* Yes I hate men. That’s why two of my best friends in the entire world are men. Because I HATE THEM SOO MUUUCH.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:08 pm | Permalink
  4. m. leblanc wrote:

    Oh my god. So, so, LOVED the “I am Sady Fucking Doyle” paragraph. I love you for that, and I don’t care whatever else you do, you are awesome. Even if you totally change your mind and decide that you love Freddie’s precious boners, you are WIN until the end of time.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:30 pm | Permalink
  5. amber wrote:

    The problem, I believe, is that Freddie has adopted the kind of feminism where women are required to pay for at least half of their hypothetical dates with him as a symbol of their liberation without actually taking in the part of feminism where, oh, women are actually human beings and deserve to be treated with respect.

    Also, if a picture is worth a thousand words, as the phrase goes, you should be able to get away with posting two funny .gifs, making 130 funny jokes, and a joke that’s only funny to 19% of your readership. XD

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:42 pm | Permalink
  6. Amanda Hess wrote:

    BONERFUND 2010

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:45 pm | Permalink
  7. lapidary wrote:

    Oh, I LURVED the “I’m Sady Fucking Doyle” bit most of all in that righteous take-down. I had this mental vision of you laughing, with your head thrown back and a whirling black tornado, filled with like houses and puzzled dudes swirling around, that you had summoned up through your SATANIC feminist refusal to disavow or diminish yourself. You are completely right, it is one of the most feminist things you can do. I seem to recall a post in the semi-deep archives, about how self-acknowledgment was pretty tough for the ladies, and how you had complicated thoughts, struggled with not putting yourself down, and were trying to work on it? A+++++++ in that class, lady! Here’s hoping that you can scare many more would-be oppressors with totally righteous declarations of how you channel THE AWESOME. That declaration brought a most pleasant tear to my eye, and an insurmountable magnetism of my finger to the donate button. So yeah, I don’t care at all about Freddie or HIS BONERS OF FEMINISM but I DO care about funny smart ladies. Have a drink on me, please!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:48 pm | Permalink
  8. Catherine wrote:

    Wow, Sady. Like many recent visitors, I’m sure, the Saga of Freddie’s [BONERS] was what led me to your blog in the first place, and your handling of this is truly grand–particularly this last post.

    Incidentally, I have consulted my team of experts and they agree that .19 jokes consists of the following format:

    “Knock knock.”

    “Who’s th–”

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:49 pm | Permalink
  9. Alicia wrote:

    These past couple of posts have made me do a little happy dance here in front of my screen. It’s mostly in the shoulders, because I am sitting down, but it’s from the heart.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:56 pm | Permalink
  10. madaha wrote:

    W00t!!!
    if anyone’s humorless, it’s the damned MRAs. You know who was humorless? Macho John Wayne.
    Machismo is humorless, not feminism.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:04 pm | Permalink
  11. Mary wrote:

    New reader and first time comment – just to say that your point about claiming and revelling in your own power, acknowledging that yes, you are fucking awesome and you have the authority and the cred and the sheer fundamental fabulousness to back that up – that made me shiver. It’s true, and next time I’m tempted to make a self-deprecating comment to make myself seem less threatening I’m going to remember “I’m Sady fucking Doyle” and own my own abilities instead.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:11 pm | Permalink
  12. Tawny wrote:

    I can’t believe he is self-blind enough to not get this.

    I just.

    What?

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:12 pm | Permalink
  13. peli wrote:

    I’ve been in conversations where I (the second-Jewish-person-to-chime-in) found it dangerous and tragic that the first-Jewish-person-to-chime-in could assert whatever the fuck he wanted about how the conversation the Goys were having about something that has some implications regarding the status of Jewish identity should proceed, and everybody who had good manners and good intentions had to flat-out accept the terms that the first-Jewish-person-to-chime-in set, because that person’s firstness-to-chime-in anointed the person as the spokesperson for Jewishness.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:18 pm | Permalink
  14. Lee Brimmicombe-Wood wrote:

    Please, more swearing. I heart it when you get righteous.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:23 pm | Permalink
  15. Bonnie wrote:

    I want ICONS!!

    Please make Freddie-Boner Icons! You could even use quotes from his posts.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:41 pm | Permalink
  16. SoggySmog wrote:

    Sady,
    You are perfect,
    The “sady fucking doyle” thing turned me on,
    & holy shit, $2000 fucking dollars!!!! You deserve it. You should tour, you’d make that much every night.
    Love ya,
    Smog

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:47 pm | Permalink
  17. Dora wrote:

    I feel like I should print this post out and carry it with me so I can whip it out when needed.

    Peli: Well, that’s where your role is to speak up. I don’t see that feminist women are particularly shy about contradicting each other. To use an understatement.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:53 pm | Permalink
  18. carovee wrote:

    I cheered out loud when you called yourself “Sady fucking Doyle”. Both posts are hilarious and inspiring.

    Blogs, like cars, are this weird mix of public and private. When you are out in your car you are in the public space but you are surrounded by this little bubble of private space where you can smoke or throw your gum wrappers on the floor or whatever.
    So coming to a blog and criticizing the person(s) who maintain or contribute is like getting in a total stranger’s car and complaining about the air freshener.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:54 pm | Permalink
  19. Glauke wrote:

    I just added to the joke load.

    Am very much looking forward :) )

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 4:59 pm | Permalink
  20. alisonrose wrote:

    Hot damn. This is fucking beautiful. I have a feeling I will be linking people to this post for a looooooong time.

    You rule, Sady fucking Doyle.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:09 pm | Permalink
  21. Oh, no, Sady!

    Now Freddie is never going to want to go on a date with you!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:17 pm | Permalink
  22. Gayle Force wrote:

    Sady fucking Doyle, you just rock my socks off.

    Although, if there were ALSO a dollar not just for how much we don’t care about Freddie’s [BONERS] but for every time Freddie wrote a sentence that was ALL ABOUT HIM when trying to engage in feminism, we could probably pay your rent for a year.

    You inspired me to be very self-righteously awesome and remember my worth. To wit: I have been Gayle fucking Force all day. DAMN STRAIGHT.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:20 pm | Permalink
  23. SKM wrote:

    I glanced at that most recent post of freddie’s to which you link, and it’s interesting that there’s no distinction made in the post or comments between attacking F.’s “sexual prowess” (which you did not do) and making fun of his sexual entitlement (which you raised to an art form).

    Very telling that some folks don’t see the difference between one’s genitals (and the prowess thereof) and one’s sense of entitlement to have said genitals prioritized no matter what.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:24 pm | Permalink
  24. Lauren B. wrote:

    Sady, you hit the nail on the head with this post. (and it seems as though we read each other’s minds on some points, although you put them much more eloquently than I ever could). Hell yeah, you’re Sady FUCKING Doyle! I just wanted to let you know that Tiger Beatdown is my favorite feminist blog because of the humor, because as you mentioned in a previous post, humor helps us get through the day. I love your writing style (both on blogs and in serious articles for publications like The Guardian). So please, never change (not like you would, but it seemed like the thing to say).

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:25 pm | Permalink
  25. Marley wrote:

    SADY FUCKING DOYLE, ladies and gentlemen! Let’s hear that applause!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:31 pm | Permalink
  26. Nancy wrote:

    “I created this blog specifically so that there would be a place that I could publish my opinions, on my oppression, without being subject to anyone else’s ideas about what was ‘appropriate’ or ‘acceptable’ or ‘marketable’ or good. I wanted to carve out a Room of One’s Own on the Internet. Without editors, without filters, without inhibitions.”

    I admire your courage in articulating this goal, and your hard work to make it and keep it a reality. It is absolutely inspirational and motivating. You rock!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 5:55 pm | Permalink
  27. Sady wrote:

    @Peli: And, on a (you would think) similar note, women and feminists disagree with each other all the fucking time! But here’s the thing we’ve all got in common: Women know more about what it is like to be women than cisgendered men. (Trans men, on the other hand, who have been treated like women and may even be read as women in some circumstances, probably have a fair bit of first-hand experience and expertise on the subject as well.)

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 6:02 pm | Permalink
  28. Danielle LaBove wrote:

    <3

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 6:24 pm | Permalink
  29. orestes wrote:

    2 fucking grand, lady. everybody wants a piece of those boner jokes. once again, expect more boner joke money come pay day. aw yeah.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:18 pm | Permalink
  30. Miss Minx wrote:

    I am going to spend the rest of my evening practicing being Miss Fucking Minx, because it is really difficult for me to own it, and I have wasted too much time already, not knowing how best to do it.

    In short, thank you for the continuing Saga of Freddie’s [BONERS]. It made my whole fucking weekend.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:22 pm | Permalink
  31. Ardwynna wrote:

    This whole little series of posts has just been [BONER] fide genius.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:25 pm | Permalink
  32. little light wrote:

    I know I say this like weekly? But you, Sady fucking Doyle, are a fucking treasure.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:26 pm | Permalink
  33. Peli wrote:

    @Sady I wouldn’t dream of implying otherwise. What I meant to imply is that often I wish that non-Jewish people felt that they have a responsibility (not even a right, but a responsibility) to respectfully answer first-Jewish-person that his/her claim that x is the Jewish perspective on y (which is different from simply speaking as a Jew, but is something people do occasionally do explicitly) is problematic because many Jewish persons have publicly dissented against x. A week ago a non-Jewish friend who’s an expert on the philosophical literature on the Jewish Holocaust asked me to take her place in a discussion because she couldn’t bear-in once a Jewish person argued against her take on some (philosophical-political- cultural) issue, and, well, I thought that was kind of sad because she is a billion times better equipped than I am to demonstrate that the first-person’s claims were misleading and falsely generlizing. Anyway, I just mean to say that sometimes the way that this deference works can be, emm, tricky I guess.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm | Permalink
  34. JfC wrote:

    @mr_subjunctive Never ever?!?!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:33 pm | Permalink
  35. Nikki wrote:

    This is just amazing. I will print this out and glue it to my wall and also e-mail it to all my male friends and my father and brother and all my girlfriends as a matter of fact, and what the hell, another copy to go to my bathroom mirror.

    Because in all honesty, I was one of the people who thought the I’m Sady Fucking Doyle went a bit far, and I did feel uncomfortable, reading the whole thing and parts (because I could really only manage to read half of what Freddie said before dozing off – that guy already has so many problems, and then he is boring on top of it all) of Freddies blog – and now I read this, and I understand why you did it that way, even more, I APPLAUD you for doing it that way and can only hope that next time I will revel in the power with you and all the lovely ladies who have not been caring about [BONER]s.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 7:58 pm | Permalink
  36. Liza-the-second wrote:

    For what it’s worth (and I’m sure I know the approximate value, but still) the “I’m Sady fucking Doyle” thing did not, in fact, turn me off. It thrilled me. I am willing to say it was one of the top ten best things I’ve ever read in my lifetime. Thanks for saying it.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 8:02 pm | Permalink
  37. Nikki wrote:

    Sady! I thought this whole counting thing meant the Fund was closed, but as Glauke commented he added to the joke load, a little hope sprang and – HAVE YOURSELF ANOTHER AMARETTO SOUR!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm | Permalink
  38. maggie wrote:

    Yes! If you start a [NO BONERZ ALLOWED] religion, I will join, Sady Fucking Doyle.

    Also could we maybe have [BONER] themed shirts? Because I would buy that, I tell you what.

    Also also, this sort of thing made me come up with the Unified Theory of Douchebaggery, which I shoddily illustrated on Flickr: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4036/4506083164_2c41987129.jpg

    I think it’s a good guideline, though, maybe Freddie could give it a shot.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm | Permalink
  39. Emmy wrote:

    “Freddie and the BONERS” would be an awesome band name! However, I suspect any music they might make would be unbearable.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 8:38 pm | Permalink
  40. Britte wrote:

    Sady Fucking Doyle, I just started following you last week and I am so happy I did. Your “narcissistic” paragraph really inspired my, and made me realize that I need to appreciate me and my awesome more often. That part of the post was so powerful and exciting; it’s stuff like this that makes me happy that the internet exists.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 8:58 pm | Permalink
  41. Kaizerin wrote:

    I liked the Freddie beatdown, but I loved the “I’m Sady Fucking Doyle”, and I donated on that basis. A little thrill ran through me when I read that, because you’ve sure the hell earned it, and I’m so glad you claim it. And now “Sady Fucking Doyle” is a Payee in my checkbook program–Hee!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 9:00 pm | Permalink
  42. Courtney wrote:

    This post reminded me why I have a special tag in my RSS reader for posts I want to savor over and over again.

    Maybe I’ll just change that tag from “hall of fame” to “Sady Fucking Doyle.”

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 9:33 pm | Permalink
  43. nahui wrote:

    I loved the I’m Sady fucking Doyle paragraph enough to de-lurk, that’s how much I loved it.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 10:26 pm | Permalink
  44. She-Romps wrote:

    “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them; women are afraid that men will kill them.”

    Margaret Atwood

    An oldie but a goodie!

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 10:48 pm | Permalink
  45. Kmac wrote:

    I discovered this site 3 days before Freddie shared his boner with us.

    I am so, so happy about it.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 11:06 pm | Permalink
  46. Rene wrote:

    Thank you, Sady Fucking Doyle, for reminding me to own my own fabulousness and awesomeness. Also, tremendous congratulations on your fundraising; I couldn’t be more thrilled that you managed to make money off that ass.

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 11:08 pm | Permalink
  47. snobographer wrote:

    @Maggie #38 I was expecting a flowchart or something and got a photo of a cactus bearing some resemblance to the ol’ twig n berries.

    In my ‘net travels today, I came across a couple feminist blog classics that I feel are relevant to this whole discussion. If it’s okay to post links.

    http://dizzybuzzkill.wordpress.com
    /2007/07/20/context/

    http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2007/08/20/the-fucking-pedantic-asshole-chronicles/

    Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 11:52 pm | Permalink
  48. Annaham wrote:

    I think the next logical step is planning some sort of [BONER] Awareness Fun Run/Walk (5k AND 10k!) or something.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 12:28 am | Permalink
  49. Kait wrote:

    Well, Sady Fucking Doyle of the Tiger Fucking Beatdown, I applaude you. You can call yourself this, because you are known throughout the internet. And people like Freddie, well, I actually didn’t see the number of people who actually follow him, but, by reading the comments, I believe that number to be somewhere around 4. Tops. Which tells me that
    1. Other people agree that his writing is dry and just plain sucks.
    2. Others agree that you kick so much ass that over 2000 dollars was donated. Wow. I can do math, and that tells me quite a bit. You go, Sady fucking Doyle!

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 12:56 am | Permalink
  50. OuyangDan wrote:

    Thank YOU Sady FUCKING Doyle for making sure that we know that it is perfectly OK to relish in our own achievements. That it is just dandy to know how fucking awesome we are from time to time.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 12:56 am | Permalink
  51. jaded16 wrote:

    I am the new convert and worshiper of Sady Fucking Doyle. I have so much to learn. Maybe I’ll be you when I grow up?

    Also, I just have to say [BONERS]. Nothing makes me happier!

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 1:28 am | Permalink
  52. Sadie wrote:

    Damn skippy you’re Sady Fucking Doyle. Thanks for the update on this drawn-out dramedy.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 2:41 am | Permalink
  53. Allison wrote:

    I just came over here on a rec of your blog at large and this was the first entry I got to see of yours. Wow.

    I need more of exactly this in my life.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 2:57 am | Permalink
  54. charley wrote:

    this freddie jerk just reminds me so much of (and perfectly embodies) this picture: http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/4664/tumblrkzjzjrkxud1qzofah.jpg

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 3:36 am | Permalink
  55. Hannah wrote:

    Can we adopt jokes? Like adopting a donkey in a sanctuary? “This knock-knock was brought to you by Hannah FUCKING Lastname, and her complete lack of interest in Freddie’s [BONER]!”

    Keep it up! The writing, not the [BONER].

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 5:09 am | Permalink
  56. Elf wrote:

    Sady you made my day once again!
    Eventough I live in Turkey (and believe me,Boners like Freddie’s are huge here!), Tiger Beatdown is like my feelings and reactions coming out to words..or something like that.
    You are an inspiration to me. Keep up the good work!

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 6:46 am | Permalink
  57. DanceDreaming wrote:

    From now until forever, anytime someone says feminists have no sense of humor, I will remember these posts and Bust. Out. Laughing.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 8:21 am | Permalink
  58. maggie wrote:

    Ohhh noooo, my [BONERS] cactus. I messed up. I will attempt that again with an LJ link. *embarrassment*

    http://seamonkey-mags.livejournal.com/48190.html

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 9:44 am | Permalink
  59. Katie Filous wrote:

    Oh, Sady. You have inspired my week. Very, very well done, and I’m glad you can pay your rent and eat food, too.

    Outstanding.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 9:58 am | Permalink
  60. Kiyote23 wrote:

    I read Tiger Beatdown for the jokes. I laugh, I wince, I learn. I come back for more.

    Thank you.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 11:04 am | Permalink
  61. The “I’m Sady Fucking Doyle” paragraph belongs in the same pantheon as, “Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die!”

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 11:22 am | Permalink
  62. emjaybee wrote:

    There is nothing more subversive than an unafraid, laughing woman. This whole series has been like a blast of sunshine and fresh air, sorely needed. Thanks.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 11:51 am | Permalink
  63. Jujuwiz wrote:

    Just so you know? Sometimes “blowback” gets in your eyes and stings and makes you scream, but sometimes it makes a nice cooling mist on a hot day.

    Um… that’s my awkward metaphorical way of saying I was a sporadic visitor that is now addicted and has added Tiger Beatdown to my rss reader. And from some of the other comments, I’m not the only one. Keep being Sady Fucking Doyle!

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 1:58 pm | Permalink
  64. ChelseaWantsOut wrote:

    You fucking badass.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 2:50 pm | Permalink
  65. latinist wrote:

    1. I love how Freddie switched, without a stop in between, from “you are too relaxed and silly, no one will take you seriously,” to “you are reacting to strictly and harshly to my comments, why can’t you just relax about it.”

    2. So at #6 here, Amanda Hess posted a comment in all caps including the word BONER. Which made it look like one of those posts that Sady has been deleting and replacing with [JOKES ABOUT FREDDIE'S BONERS]. Which led to a very puzzling moment for me, as I thought, “wait a minute, did Amanda Hess just get an anti-feminist, pro-Freddie comment deleted? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” As a man, I feel that I have an absolute right to demand that you avoid confusing me this way in the future, or I will inexplicably turn into an obnoxious sexist asshole, and it won’t be in any way my fault.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 3:03 pm | Permalink
  66. I can has lady[BONER] for Sady?

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 3:11 pm | Permalink
  67. Kiri wrote:

    I am not awesome or funny enough to say how awesome and funny you are in an awesome and funny way, so:

    Sady, you are awesome and funny.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 3:44 pm | Permalink
  68. Kris wrote:

    Long time lurker, first time commenter. I love you. I love you so very much. This post felt so good, as it is the Freddies of the world frequently bogging me down and exhausting me. I can repel most people I don’t want to associate with simply by naming my feminism, but those Freddies! Holy smokes, a Freddie will hunt you down with his entitlement boner until you understand and submit to the fact that he’s got to educate you about your own fucking experiences.

    And as others have noted, bitterly amused by how quick the silencing techniques shift in nature. Too humorless/angry/emotional? Too humorous/silly/not serious? Too assertive? Too willing to “make yourself a victim”? Too loud, too quiet? No fucking winning.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 4:16 pm | Permalink
  69. Yvonne wrote:

    You are awesome, Sady fucking Doyle.

    love, Yvonne fucking Rathbone.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 4:18 pm | Permalink
  70. Canomia wrote:

    I do love you Sady Doyle but I think Peli had a good point and I think this whole thing is problematic. Not that I care about Freddies boners but I feel like you are beating down harder than necessary on the wrong people, and that you have such a huge following now that anything other than praise gets lost or beaten down on. What I loved about you back on ye olde tiger beatdown with the blue background was that people called you out on shit and you responded in a serious way in the comment section. There isn’t room for that kind of stuff anymore and as the Sady-cult grows ever bigger and louder I don´t know how to feel about it anymore. There is gold in these last posts, don’t get me wrong(you are Sady FUCKING Doyle and I love your writing) but this is something thats been slowly changing and I guess this was the last drop, and it´s maybe more about the comment section than anything else.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 4:53 pm | Permalink
  71. Sady wrote:

    @Canomia: People still call me out. I still listen. People have called me out, in the last months, on white privilege, ableism, heterocentrism, cis privilege, and any other number of things. It is true that now that posts have thirty comments rather than three, I’m unable to respond to every single one, like I used to do. And it is true that I don’t ever respond well to “you’re writing about the wrong things!” Because it is very easy to register a blog, for free, on any number of platforms. But, you know, at the risk of you getting an even LASTER drop of being over Sady: Why post a comment to tell me you don’t like my writing any more? Why not just, you know, stop reading?

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 5:02 pm | Permalink
  72. Canomia wrote:

    Oh, never mind. I posted my comment without reading the whole post, Don’t know how that happened but it´s all good now. This is the Sady Doyle i love.
    Still have mixed feelings about the comment section i guess but Sady, you’re wonderful!

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 5:18 pm | Permalink
  73. biomuse wrote:

    Sady,
    Brilliant post top to bottom. Still, this:

    “But I also wanted Freddie, who is hugely terrified of women who assert their authority and primacy in the feminist movement, to be confronted with the sight of a woman acknowledging, accepting, and reveling in her own authority and power. That shit is terrifying, often even to women, but definitely to men.”

    …well.. hmm…

    I may be latching too hard onto a single word here, but it seems to me that power, and the framing of human/gender relations in terms of power, is the problem in the first instance. Power is your friend, except when it isn’t.

    To be sure, you specifically denote “women who assert their authority and primacy in the feminist movement” – and it is unarguable that women should and must have authority and primacy in the movement. However, thinking about the goals of the movement as a world-shaping force pushes me to think about power outside of solely that context.

    Much of what the movement defines itself against takes the form of logics of power cut loose from coherent logics of justice. The difference between power and authority is a logic of justice, and those are tricky to get right.

    I.e., power-does-because-power-can is abuse-logic. It would seem to be the logic that set up patriarchy because the male is “stronger;” the logic which polices sexual boundaries against gay and trans expression and persons because the “majority” can claim to have the larger normative weight; the logic which polices communities for the correct mode of discourse (i.e., mistaken [BONER] insertion); and the logic which punishes the weak.

    Feminism can be 1)about enabling women to fuck up their adversaries better than their adversaries can fuck them up; 2)about revealing how power discourse has fucked everybody up, and continues to do so; 3)about both.

    1) may be tactically necessary in the near term, as you point out. But it’s addictive because power is addictive. In the long term, if the movement loses sight of 2), I think something very important, and ultimately more influential, will have been lost.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 5:20 pm | Permalink
  74. Canomia wrote:

    Oh but I do still like your writing. Its probably just a case of the thing you know when your favorite band is suddenly on mtv and the radio and everywhere and you miss the small venues and the special feeling of having a secret magic treasure.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 5:24 pm | Permalink
  75. Canomia wrote:

    @Sady
    Oh and to answer your question; the post wasn’t about me not liking your writing anymore, it was about me loving your writing and whining about everybody loving it too. It was stupid, sorry.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 5:34 pm | Permalink
  76. Lexica wrote:

    Sady Fucking Doyle!

    Just wanted to say that again.

    And I’m cracking up over Lampry’s comment #3. Who would have thought that “mensies” would look so much like “menses” when written?

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 6:52 pm | Permalink
  77. Erin wrote:

    @Biomuse

    I don’t necessarily think it is correct to frame feminism as being about the powerful v. powerless, but as being about privilege and oppressed. I don’t necessarily think a person needs power to have privilege. They are related in ways, such as maybe someone else with power can, in a way, bestoy privilege on others. Yeah, and some other stuff.

    I’m tired and it’s Monday, and I might elaborate later, but my point is that power is different than privilege, and in my view, feminism is more focused on aspects of privilege. One group of ladies having access to some kind of power may or may not reduce the amount of privilege bestoyed on another group.

    And also, feminist theory is more about societal groups of people. Not about these three specific people against those four specific people. Someone else explain and make more sense than me please.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 6:52 pm | Permalink
  78. You need to legally change your name to Sady Fucking Doyle. Because you fucking are.

    Love always, Thessa Fucking Mercury.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 7:23 pm | Permalink
  79. speedbudget wrote:

    New reader, going to come back on the regular now.

    Just wanted to say: I seriously thought, when the T-shirt was mentioned, that it was one of those shirts with a downward-pointing arrow. I can totally imagine Freddie running around in that shirt.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 8:07 pm | Permalink
  80. Rudolfe G. Pigg wrote:

    I would pay (admittedly, small amounts of) money on a regular basis to have Freddie’s winkie kept far, far away. It’s a value-add for the site!

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 10:31 pm | Permalink
  81. biomuse wrote:

    @Erin

    I wasn’t framing feminism as being about the powerful vs. the powerless, but it seems obvious, at least to me, that male privilege (or any privilege that results in the oppression of others) can’t exist in any meaningful sense unless there’s at least a power differential of some kind. “Oppression” means to me that people are denied something they should have by others by way of a power dynamic, be it social/cultural, sexual, physical or economic.

    I agree that a bunch of ladies having access to power doesn’t necessarily mean less privilege for someone else, but it could (someday) if it’s most of the ladies and the goal is power for its own sake, b/c power always presents problems no matter who’s in charge; that was the main point of my post.

    White male privilege in the absence of a power differential would be a nuisance but not a problem b/c it could just be denied at will. Someone who behaves in a privileged manner is just a plain old asshole, but it’s not oppression unless there’s a group or class dynamic involved (as you sort of point out), i.e. unless there’s something systemic going down. Power differential is always involved there.

    Yes, theory is always generalizable to groups not individuals, which is what makes it theory), But it’s got to be rooted in individual experiences to be grounded. I don’t think I said anywhere that feminism was only about individuals though.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 11:26 pm | Permalink
  82. Erin wrote:

    Then I don’t get the point of your comment, unless you think Sady is about to change the power dynamic of the entire world, tomorrow.

    Monday, April 12, 2010 at 11:43 pm | Permalink
  83. biomuse wrote:

    No, I don’t think Sady’s going to do that, no matter how good the blog is. The only point of my post is as a reminder of some fundamentals as i see them. Power is always a double edged sword that rarely leads to peace.

    A woman reveling in her own excellence, wit and authority is the best thing around.

    But anyone, man, woman or transgendered reveling in power should keep an eye open for their own shit b/c power and justice have a complicated relationship. Only point of the post.

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 12:11 am | Permalink
  84. PJ wrote:

    @Emjaybee:

    There is nothing more subversive than an unafraid, laughing woman.

    I think this is my new motto (since “I’m Sady Fucking Doyle” is already taken).

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 12:35 am | Permalink
  85. [BONERS] WHO?

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 2:40 am | Permalink
  86. CJP wrote:

    At first I was wondering why you bothered to write so many words and more than one post to skewer someone who seemed to be just, you know, an idiot. But you have made it into such an excellent object lesson that I want to pass this post on to some folks I know who need to hear this message.

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 4:19 pm | Permalink
  87. TheDeviantE wrote:

    Hey biomuse, as a man who is transgender, could we not put “transgendered” in a whole other category than “men” and “women” and as a noun (adjective fine: “trans men can be awesome feminists!” noun bad: “the transgendereds seem uppity today”)?

    I mean, if you want to acknowledge that there are more than 2 genders that’s awesome (because there totally are)! But “transgendered” is not the way to do it. Might I suggest a term actually used by people who identify outside of the spectrum, such as “genderqueer?”

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 5:46 pm | Permalink
  88. biomuse wrote:

    Hey thedeviante,
    Sure thing. Thanks for the clarification.

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 7:41 pm | Permalink
  89. Angela wrote:

    HOW MUCH DO I LOVE SADY DOYLE.

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010 at 10:40 pm | Permalink
  90. ari wrote:

    “If someone is describing a gross, oppressive behavior that some people in your privileged group engage in, then there is no reason to get defensive unless you personally engage in that behavior, in which case you need to stop complaining about your hurt feelings and focus on how quickly and completely you can cut that shit out. ”

    FUCK YEAH. this is the most concise definition of “being a good ally” that I’ve ever heard. y’all are awesome.

    Friday, April 23, 2010 at 12:16 am | Permalink
  91. Jeff Fecke wrote:

    You are Sady Fucking Doyle, and if anyone ever questions that, point them right back to this post.

    Friday, April 23, 2010 at 1:21 am | Permalink
  92. DBN wrote:

    – “And, yeah, the “I’m Sady fucking Doyle” thing turned people off.”

    When I read it, my immediate reaction was, “I LOVE Sady fucking Doyle!” And, of course, I still do, and maybe even a little bit more.

    Friday, April 23, 2010 at 5:23 pm | Permalink
  93. Kay wrote:

    I think I now have a girl crush. Awesome post. Thanks!

    Friday, April 23, 2010 at 7:08 pm | Permalink
  94. zanne wrote:

    I’d put in a funny joke but my brain is fried (graduate student / no sleep / etc etc). Plus you’re way better at being funny and awesome. So. Please to keep being funny and awesome. Thank you.

    Saturday, April 24, 2010 at 10:09 am | Permalink
  95. Simon wrote:

    [...] am shamelessly stealing this idea from Kate Fucking Harding, who it totally riffing off Sady Fucking Doyle, because they are–and it is–so fucking [...]

    Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 11:59 pm | Permalink
  96. Stella Omega wrote:

    @biomuse #83

    Your admonishment reminds me of Garrison Keillor’s description of the Lutheran Church’s stage proscenium, featuring frolicking nymphs and satyrs, feasting, wine and song — and the legend; “BUT NOT TOO MUCH.”

    Your point may be pertinent elsewhere, however.

    Monday, April 26, 2010 at 3:19 pm | Permalink
  97. Dave wrote:

    Hey biomuse, as a man who is transgender, could we not put “transgendered” in a whole other category than “men” and “women” and as a noun (adjective fine: “trans men can be awesome feminists!” noun bad: “the transgendereds seem uppity today”)?

    I mean, if you want to acknowledge that there are more than 2 genders that’s awesome (because there totally are)! But “transgendered” is not the way to do it. Might I suggest a term actually used by people who identify outside of the spectrum, such as “genderqueer?”

    Monday, April 26, 2010 at 6:35 pm | Permalink
  98. biomuse wrote:

    @Stella Omega:

    LOL. Sort of.

    @Dave:

    Are you reposting TheDeviante’s helpful clueing-in? Or were you intending to respond to TheDeviante in some way and messed up?

    Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 2:15 am | Permalink
  99. Sady wrote:

    @biomuse: OK. There’s a weird spam thing going on where the spammers repost comments by previous users. I skim, I see that they look reasonable, and then I click and let them through. DAMN IT. Just means we need to spend more time moderating the comment section. They all use one male first name as screen names, so I am just going to have to be PREJUDICED AGAINST THE DUDES, some more, as I do my morning comment-approvals.

    Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 9:39 am | Permalink
  100. Helen wrote:

    Some very good friends of mine happen to be male, and leaders of an organization called “The Feminist Majority” on my campus. I’m glad they’re progressive, I’m glad they’re pro-women, don’t misinterpret, but there’s something horribly off about a group run by men running female masturbation workshops.

    Wednesday, May 12, 2010 at 10:36 pm | Permalink

8 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. [...] [BONERS], For Fun and Profit: The Extent To Which You Don’t Care About [BONERS], Revealed! [...]

  2. [...] “Being a woman who likes herself, is proud of herself, is impressed with herself, in public: There might not be a more subversive act.” – Sady Doyle [...]

  3. [...] am shamelessly stealing this idea from Kate Fucking Harding, who it totally riffing off Sady Fucking Doyle, because they are–and it is–so fucking [...]

  4. Say Something Good « Raising My Boychick on Tuesday, May 11, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    [...] an excellent reason for this: when we do, we are, invariably, attacked. We are women, and although we are apparently supposed to do all the work that runs the world [...]

  5. Parenting in public « From the desk of Miss Minx… on Saturday, May 15, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    [...] internalized the whole be-invisible-woman thing, and how this relates to my total inability to be Miss Fucking Minx, no matter how much I would like to be, for both my own sake as well as my [...]

  6. [...] f***king Doyle” … so far, so… arrogant? self-aggrandizing? But here’s some explanation: “Because I’m a woman, and I have accordingly been taught my entire life to view myself as [...]

  7. Like rain on your wedding day « Birthday Bread Horse on Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    [...] the racist one! And in other discussions: If you try to carve out a space for women or refuse to be sufficiently impressed by [BONERS], truly, the sexist is YOU! It’s not just the “the real discrimination is you [...]

  8. This one is all about me. « This Wicked Day on Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 9:12 am

    [...] incredibly subversive and hence gives them a kind of power of their own. Sady of Tiger Beatdown said it already and far better than I could, so I’ll just quote her saying it: … I have accordingly been taught my entire life to [...]