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And Now, Your Fabulous Prize-Winner!

Yes, it’s true: The Tiger Beatdown Pledge Drive has concluded. And, amongst you all, one has emerged the victor. Soon you shall all know her by name.

Okay, you’ve waited long enough. Her name is Erin! Hi, Erin! Thanks for the donation!

As you all know, it is Erin’s job to tell me what to write about this week. But, before we all bow and quake before her fearful dictum, let us take time to discuss the fate of our runners-up. For Erin — all hail Erin! — managed to distinguish herself by donating a mere five dollars more than all the many takers of second place. Who deserve, I think, some acknowledgement here. They are:

  • Hannah!
  • Vanessa!
  • Also Hannah! They even have the same last initial! But are DIFFERENT PEOPLE, I am pretty sure.
  • Jamie!
  • Sierra! Who wrote me with, like, the most charming request ever the other day, which was that I wish her friend Molly a happy birthday via e-mail. HI MOLLY. LET ME KNOW HOW THAT BIRTHDAY DEAL TURNED OUT. GEMINIS 4-EVER.
  • Carmel!
  • Stephanie! Who takes care to note that she, too, is the owner of a “smooshy-face dog,” who is a Boston Terrier. Would it interest you to know, Stephanie, that my very own dog has some Boston Terrier in him? Well, it’s true! Whether it’s interesting or not! GOOD TASTE IN DOGS HIGH FIVE.
  • Shannon!
  • And Gabrielle!

As a runner-up prize for all of these many fine ladies, I have composed a special haiku. It comes from the heart, and showcases my breathtaking lyricism, so take special note of it.

ON THE OCCASION OF YOUR ALL WINNING SECOND PRIZE

All of you should win

Erin had five more dollars

Do not turn on her!

Yeah, that was kind of stinky. We need to work on the second prize situation. But thank you, ladies! And thanks to everyone who donated! I was able to send everyone some money; furthermore, your cash has paid for food, shelter, and the imminent castration of the dog (“WHUUUUT.” — Hektor) and allowed us to set some money aside for the production of the Tiger Beatdown t-shirts! Famed through myth, song, and that one failed attempt to produce them by hand, which (SPOILER) totally failed, the Tiger Beatdown t-shirts are closer than ever to being a reality. We have even managed, through Photoshop technology, to produce this glimpse into the future and show you what they will look like!

Attractive, no?

ANYWAY. That is what the Pledge Drives do: They make magic happen. And now, to award Erin her prize! Here is her request for me, for the remainder of the week:

I’m going to default to my basic and choose to request that you talk about books this week.  Books!  Books that you have read and loved, or read and hated, or read and had a complicated reaction to; obviously preferably with a specific feminist focus.  (The reaction, not necessarily the books.)

Oh, so much fun! Could not have had a better winner, clearly! I am actually really looking forward to this. SO, starting on Tuesday, expect to see some thinking on The Books, done by me. While everyone else writes about whatever! And now, I am going to read. IT IS WORK, OKAY. ERIN IS MY BOSS, AND SHE IS PAYING ME TO DO THIS. Bring me my highly professional comfy chair, it is time for working!

30 Comments

  1. Ed Hicks wrote:

    oh my god WANT

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 3:26 pm | Permalink
  2. Joey wrote:

    I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS SHIRT!!!!!

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 3:29 pm | Permalink
  3. Dr. Vanessa wrote:

    De-lurking to ask… does the lack of a second initial mean that I am the only Vanessa? Therefore the Vanessa of the nine-way tie for second place? AWESOME. Sady knows my name!

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 3:35 pm | Permalink
  4. I hereby end my string of lurking to tell you that I *love* the t-shirt design, which has the Bonus of being reminiscent (but totally in a subversive way) of an LSU Tigers t-shirt. Which means that I will wear it to football games, where people will surely think “ah, a fellow fan of–wait, what??” Which will be awesome.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 3:58 pm | Permalink
  5. Vertigo wrote:

    LMAO at the Haiku!

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 4:14 pm | Permalink
  6. rozdoll wrote:

    I’m pretty sure I’ve never been more excited for a t-shirt in my entire life.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 4:15 pm | Permalink
  7. vero wrote:

    omg – that shirt is all sorts of awesome.

    if you’re still looking for someone to print it, may i recommend these wonderful ladies:

    http://www.etsy.com/people/productionapparel

    they are quite good and quite awesome! regardless, can’t wait to get my hands on one of these beauts.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 4:26 pm | Permalink
  8. Nora wrote:

    I want that shirt SO BAD. Though I think the formatting on your blog might be weird because it’s showing up as skinnier here than it was in my RSS catcher.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 4:38 pm | Permalink
  9. Maud wrote:

    Extremely awesome T-shirt.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 5:14 pm | Permalink
  10. Stephanie wrote:

    That is quite possibly the greatest t-shirt design ever conceived.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 5:37 pm | Permalink
  11. Jenny North wrote:

    Oh man, WANT. I hope they are ready miraculously soon! My band is going on tour on July 1st, and I wanna wear it at shows…

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 5:55 pm | Permalink
  12. JfC wrote:

    I would certainly wear that t shirt.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 6:09 pm | Permalink
  13. Victoria wrote:

    That awesome, awesome t-shirt looks a lot like my high school tiger, and in the same colors.

    I loved my high school tiger.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 6:12 pm | Permalink
  14. Oriniwen wrote:

    I want to buy 15 of those shirts like yesterday.

    Congrats to all the winners!!

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 6:14 pm | Permalink
  15. Stacy wrote:

    @ Victoria- Me too! Same colors, same tiger. Probably there are bunches of high schools with the same thing.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 6:21 pm | Permalink
  16. Nikki wrote:

    I am buying one of those shirts the first second I can. And wearing it everywhere and being like “SHIT YEAH”.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 6:22 pm | Permalink
  17. Amanda (not Hess) wrote:

    Fuck yeah, t-shirts! So excited for those. But also, books. I am even more excited for more talking about books.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 6:42 pm | Permalink
  18. mulierosity wrote:

    Sady et al should autograph a handful of the tees and perhaps auction those off, bringing in more proceeds than an unautographed tee. Or run a limited edition in a certain color. (I should get a free autographed one should this suggestion be implemented =P)

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 10:06 pm | Permalink
  19. Melissa wrote:

    I’m picturing the looks I’ll get when I wear that shirt to my gym, which is located in a rich, conservative suburb of my city.

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 10:48 pm | Permalink
  20. deborah wrote:

    shirt = want

    Monday, June 21, 2010 at 11:27 pm | Permalink
  21. katiemonstrrr wrote:

    I am also VERY excited about the shirt and will buy one even if it is yellow. (I am hoping yellow is not the only color option? God, I’m such a nitpicky jerk.)

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 1:08 am | Permalink
  22. Louise H wrote:

    You have to make that shirt a reality. Yellow hates my complexion, but I would still wear the shit out of it.

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 1:55 am | Permalink
  23. another maggie wrote:

    I am all over that shirt!

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 9:34 am | Permalink
  24. Laura wrote:

    Please please please ship to the UK! I want this shirt so much.

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 11:11 am | Permalink
  25. Sierra wrote:

    I made the list!! Hooray!! I will buy many T-Shirts and wear them everywhere in Los Angeles and have a wonderful time explaining what the shirt means! I can already anticipate the shock and awe when some people I know realize some other cooler people are opposed to their boners!

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 12:45 pm | Permalink
  26. Savanna wrote:

    OHMYGOD
    I want that shirt.

    If I could camp out in front of somewhere to show my devotion to that shirt, to you, and to Opposing Oppressive Boners Everywhere, I would.

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 3:30 pm | Permalink
  27. Laura wrote:

    Please, please, please for the love of all that is not [BONERS] make this available in plus sizes. I personally will buy one (1) million.

    Tuesday, June 22, 2010 at 7:08 pm | Permalink
  28. Maz wrote:

    DUDE I am delurking to say I will pay untold amounts of money for one of those sweet-ass yellow shirts.

    Also (I know it doesn’t show in ths post but) reading you has made me a better writer. Thank you.

    xx

    Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 8:08 am | Permalink
  29. HB wrote:

    Imagine my surprise to see a shout out to me (one of the Hannahs) on Tiger Beatdown. It’s a good day. I’m glad to support TB and Shakesville to get the scoop on ladybusiness.

    Wednesday, June 23, 2010 at 11:20 am | Permalink
  30. Han wrote:

    I am seconding Laura’s request for those shirts being available in the UK :D

    Also I am the other Hannah (hello to HB above me), and this is the first time I have ever commented here. Hurrah?

    Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 3:59 am | Permalink