Fun facts about straight people:
- Most of them are not dangerous!
- Some of them are actually quite lovely people.
- Straight people are not as violent as they are portrayed in action movies.
- Straight people are your neighbors, your friends, members of your community. You may be related to a straight person, or even share a room with one in the hospital.
- I mean it TAKES ALL KINDS, amirite?
- Tomorrow, while you are attending the daily Straight Pride Parades that form the totality of public life in America.
- Take a moment to tell a straight person you support their life decisions.
- Tell them you know many fine straight people.
- Then put your hand near their ear, and pretend to find a silver dollar there.
- They love that shit.
Straight people will NOT:
- Try to make you straight.
- (Not that it would work, amirite?)
- Make it impossible for you to appreciate Ani DiFranco on rainy days.
- Make you want to move to Florida.
- Inject a lot of brown into your wardrobe.
- Drag you on a cruise and then spend two weeks complaining about how few deck chairs there are.
Here we have a video by straight pop star Justin Bieber. I personally have been a big fan of Justin Bieber’s right to define his own sexuality, since he has been gender policed by the culture at large pretty ferociously. But I’ll admit I was a little reluctant to watch his video, as I’ve seen the project gain steam and seen straight voices begin crowding out queer voices. And the straight voices that replaced them are saying things like “I know how hard it is being weird when you’re younger.”
First of all, I was not weird, I was fabulous. Second of all, yes this is a very relatable experience. Bullying is widespread and terrible. But the germ of the project was a need for older and younger queer voices to reach out to a generation that is still terribly vulnerable. These kids hear straight voices every day, and it means so much more for you to use them in your community. This project was about being able to have our voices amplified by the medium and movement. Your voices are already amplified by your orientation. Use them locally.
Hopefull, J.Biebs will have something good for us.
Oh, look! Bieber waited until the project had been underway for months, until it was as mainstream and watered-down as possible, then supplied us with 21 seconds of uncut life WISDOMS. Things get better, people, mumbly things!
Look, I understand that this video is possibly well-intentioned and may have sent cataclysmic shockwaves through the bangs-heavy ranks of his tween hive mind, but as Queerty pointed out, it may well be the shortest “It’s Gets Better” video yet recorded. I don’t mean him or his fans any ill will, I know that straight people aren’t all alike. I want to see my good straight friend Justin come out a hero on this.
I want to Belieb.
After all you can always count on straight people to take the elements of queer rebellion and community building, strip them of all meaning, and then try to sell them back to us as support. Don’t worry straight people, we’ll keep making culture if you keep being awesome!