So, let’s talk about a very important social justice issue. Let’s talk: ABOUT MY TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS.
Because the New Year, it hath begun. And I am still working through all the messages I received last month. If I’ve missed yours? Maybe I haven’t gotten to it yet, or maybe I scrolled right past it and now can’t see it as an “unread” e-mail. So feel free to follow up! Especially if it’s urgent!
But, hey. Remember when I was going to make t-shirts? Because I sure do! And am mad at myself for not making them before now! And that has also been a delightful journey. First we were going to hand-make them using recycled sources so as to be fully ethical and affordable; then we found out that wasn’t going to work, considering how fast we’d have to hand-make them and the fact that each one took way too long to make (we had to individually and with a great amount of precision cut out each of the letters and place it on the t-shirt and etc.) and my general incompetence. Then we were going to investigate any number of darling little local businesses so as to spend our dollars wisely; then we found out we needed too many dollars. And finally? FUCKING FINALLY? I figured out how to work CafePress.
Yes. That is the Tiger Beatdown t-shirt. That I have been trying to make for the past six months. And it is available in so many sizes, and colors, and as a hoodie (buying one for me) or tote bag or messenger bag (also buying one, for me), as well! You can give this t-shirt to your dog: They make dog t-shirts! You can order this t-shirt as a mug, in case you are noted Tiger Beatdown fan Matthew McConaughey and wish to never wear a shirt! THIS IS THE TIGER BEATDOWN T-SHIRT: The longest, most laborious, most embarrassingly delayed project I ever finished in fifteen minutes and felt stupid for not finishing before now.
Oh, also! Let’s see if there’s something going on with the Julian Assange case and the left’s surprisingly, virulently hateful misogyny and anti-feminism! Because that always nurtures the soul.
Mr Assange said he regarded himself as a victim of Left-wing radicalism. “Sweden is the Saudi Arabia of feminism,” he said. “I fell into a hornets’ nest of revolutionary feminism.”
Yuh-huh. You know, I could write a 9,000-word blog post about why this is wrong! I’ve done it before! But you know what I’d rather do? I would rather make a joke about genitalia. And I would rather… MAKE A T-SHIRT.
The joke, you see, is that as a person with a crotch, I believe “hornet’s nest of revolutionary feminism” to be an appropriate new name for mine. Or yours! If you don’t wish to call attention to your crotch, however, because that’s gross/people pay too much attention to your crotch already/you don’t really think of it as a “hornet’s nest,” we have an arrow-free design!
Oh, and by the way? I’m getting commission from these t-shirts. And, since 2/3rds of our current products are related, somehow, to the Assange rape case that is being conflated with WikiLeaks while Private Manning sits in torturous conditions for exposing the murder of civilians by US soldiers, and for working with WikiLeaks to do so? For the first week of sales (which is as long as #MooreandMe ran, and when I predict we’ll make most of our sales; what are you going to do, sit there and order a different t-shirt every week? I mean, if you want to do that, AWESOME, but you won’t) all of our profits will go to the Bradley Manning Defense Fund. Because over here at Tiger Beatdown, we can support the project of WikiLeaks and oppose rape apologism and be feminist. Whether Julian Assange — or your e-mail, RANDO GUY #3,148,700 — thinks we can or not.