Friends: I have a lot of interests. Feminism, chili cheese fries, talking about feminism while eating chili cheese fries… the list goes on! However, one of my interests is “blogs about tattoos.” They always brighten my day a little. Mostly because I get to judge people, which is really my function in this life. You get a Harry Potter tattoo; I see your Harry Potter tattoo; I laugh and laugh and laugh. It’s the natural order!
So imagine my dismay when I checked into one such tattoo blog this morning and found this:
Uh. Yikes? Fortunately, the owner of this tattoo has provided a little background on his new (and PROMINENTLY PLACED; sweet Jesus help me, is that a wrist?) bit of Body Artistry:
This is my “unfortunate-victim-of-child-abduction-with-her-mouth-taped-shut-awaiting-her-snuff-flick-style-demise” tattoo.
You know, there are a lot of points to be made about this. Something something fetishizing violence toward women, something something rape culture — in one post, he describes her as a “pre-teen rape victim!” — something something misogyny and dehumanization of women blah. But really, before we get all into that, let’s look at the bright side: The punishment really does fit the crime here. Someday — maybe someday in the near future — this young gentleman will wake up and realize that, you know, all of these ladies he encounters on a more or less regular basis really are PEOPLE, and it’s kind of gross and inhuman to think of the harm done to them (at fairly high rates, even!) as a fun, aestheticized diversion from his boring and extremely beardy little life. And on that day, he will have proof of how stupid he is CARVED ALL THE FUCK OVER HIS FOREARM, and will be unable to escape it. Justice done! And, in the meantime, this — short of getting “DON’T DATE HIM, GIRL” tattooed on his forehead — will keep the rest of us safely away.
Ohhhhh, I really just do love judging other people’s tattoos.