Ah, election season. The whisper campaigns, the endless press conferences, the surreal sight of rich people trying to pretend they care about anything but themselves, their fussy children, and their stable of miniature ponies. And no matter how much conservative politicians have tried to stay on message with their plan for the economy (spoiler: TAX CUTS! FOR RICH PEOPLE!) they just can’t help rattling their sabres about the threat of the queermosexuals. Senator Jim DeMint (who, I am informed, has not taken advantage of his name and done drag under the name DeMint Julep, which is just such a waste) recently spoke at a conservative confab, firing up his base over the Lavender Menace in Education:
DeMint said if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn’t be teaching in the classroom and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who’s sleeping with her boyfriend — she shouldn’t be in the classroom.
“(When I said those things,) no one came to my defense,” he said. “But everyone would come to me and whisper that I shouldn’t back down. They don’t want government purging their rights and their freedom to religion.”
Of course! Homosexuals and Ladies shacking up with their boyfriends couldn’t possibly be entitled to their own religious beliefs. Like my firmly held belief that, like breathing and eating, having sex is a biological necessity. I’m not too partial to other people trying to shame me about my biological necessities, or using this biological necessity to coerce other people into religious sacraments. Obviously DeMint isn’t obliged to respect my philosophical beliefs. In the conservative mindset, having to respect someone else’s religion means their own religion is under attack, a handy belief that allows them to simultaneously play the oppressor and the aggrieved victim. They want to enjoy all of the religious protections of the constitution, while denying them to everyone else. Those of us who don’t believe as they do are shamed and bullied into silence, not wanting to be accused of religious intolerance.
But mark my words, there is a secular reckoning coming in this country. Real Americans, believers in true religious tolerance, will rise up against the menace of theocratic rule and take back this country for Justice and Liberty. Then comes the free government limousines and the socialism.