Tiger Beatdown

Oh, Fucking While Feminist. What does it MEAN??? Such is the discussion amongst the ladies today. In my personal experience, Fucking While Feminist is pretty much like doing any other thing While Feminist: Going to the grocery store, napping, napping before going to the grocery store, etc. It’s pretty much like usual, except that if you notice any unfairness in the procedure, you are going to complain MUCH MORE READILY AND LOUDLY than you would otherwise.

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That I feel Don Draper is not just a bad person, but THE WORST. But that is hyperbole. He hasn’t actually committed genocide (AS FAR AS WE KNOW). But still: If you would like to read a list of reasons about why I feel Pete’s face here is a totally appropriate reaction to knowing this dude (PETE CAMPBELL IS IN A POSITION TO LECTURE YOU ABOUT SELFISHNESS. YOU HAVE BECOME THE WORST), you are welcome.

“But we weren’t mad at Ted Hughes,” certain of you ladies will doubtless tell me. And to you I say: Yes, you are! And stop it! For a man has written a newspaper blog post about what bitches you are all being!

For, you see, the world is now in possession of a Ted Hughes poem about Plath. This poem, says The Man Behind The Blog Post, “shows how intense Hughes’s pain and guilt was at her suicide.” That is… debatable, actually? Beside the point! For “however deep the pain, it won’t be enough for the deranged group among Plath’s fans; the sort who were responsible for vandalising her grave to remove Hughes’s name.”

I mean, yeah, the gravestone-vandalizing was counterproductive and wrong. Which I think every marginally reasonable person in the world agrees with. But also, this dude has such a stellar point, overall! I mean, all Ted Hughes did was pick up a gal with a history of suicidal depression and massive abandonment issues relating to The Dudes, marry her, abandon her (whoops!) in the cruelest manner possible, leave her with the responsibility of caring for two small children which as I understand it is incredibly hard and stressful even if you’re not clinically depressed and dealing with a recent traumatic abandonment that has re-opened that big old treasure trove of Your Issues and set them loose to devour your brain like Dad-shaped zombies, and then, following her totally spontaneous and out-of-nowhere and in-no-way-foreseeable-to-the-point-of-being-almost-inevitable-given-these-specific-circumstances suicide, go around re-editing manuscripts so that they excluded the poems about hating him and getting rid of diaries surrounding the circumstances of their break and her death, much in the manner of a man who has but recently thrown a lit match into a pile of oily rags being all, “well, it really is a shame that the house spontaneously combusted this way! Nothing we could have done to prevent it, I suppose. What a tragedy. Let’s not assign blame here; this is a private matter.” I mean, you guys: What could people possibly be mad at Ted Hughes for? WHAT DID HE DO WRONG????

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Oh, hey! It turns out The British are up to something both pleasant and amusing, for the ladies. It is a “feminist postcard art auction,” with images intended to demonstrate something or other about the state of contemporary feminism. So far, so well-intentioned. Thumbs up, The British!

But have you ever wondered, ladies, what a DUDE ARTIST might contribute to such an auction? Specifically, whether or not he could find a way to make the point that feminism has rendered everything terrible? And also, whether he could work a cum shot into it? Because if your answers are “maybe,” “no,” and “oh, Jesus Christmas, really???!?” I have got your answer! (Fair warning: Your answer is NSFW.) (Because he put a cum shot in it.)

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